Sports Saturday

Yesterday was the start of our soccer season.  Our first two games (and several practices) were rained out.  So yesterday we got our first start.  One of them is chomping at the bit for the season to start.  The other less so.

We stopped coaching G's team at the start of the school year.  He had a different coach in the fall and then in the spring we have another new coach.  He's made some big changes.  A lot of this team has been together since Kinder.  But how you approach coaching is way different at 5 than it is at 8.  G named the team The Blue Lightning Jets when he was 5.  Well.  That's not super nimble.  So they voted and the new name is FC Fireballs, with Coach Burn.  It's kind of too perfect, really.  I'm going to buy them all flame socks.

The current coach used to be a line Ref for semi-pro teams.  He knows his stuff!  It's really excellent. And the kids are having so much fun.

Yesterday was the most aggressive I've ever seen him play.  He got up there and challenged kids (even bigger kids) and took the ball and when he played offense he pushed the ball downfield.  It was so great to see.  For the first time in however many seasons he said he liked playing forward better than defense.  In six seasons he's never once said that.  And they all were having FUN.  It was a really great game.

I mean we lost.  But it was a fun game.  He had some great plays and it was nice seeing him be aggressive instead of taking a back seat to the bigger kids.  He wasn't afraid to fall down.  He wasn't afraid to get in there.

Confidence is a beautiful thing.

For my man D ... I don't even know how to explain his relationship with soccer.  It's complicated seems wrong.  Emotional.  Is probably better.  His dad is the coach.  He likes that part.  He doesn't like that that doesn't mean he's instantly the team star or that no one ever takes the ball from him.  When things don't go his way he has a super, super, super hard time using "his self-control."  Self-control is our super power.  It allows us to control our feelings, and not the other way around.

I have tried so many motivations techniques with this kid.  iPad/video games work only about 40% of the time for him.  Sweets about the same amount of time.  Most consistently effective is ... if you don't participate I will not let you have the participation trophy.  

But I don't like being negative on it.  At least that one makes sense.  And he loves that dumb trophy.  But I want him to look forward to playing, not dread it with a "mom's going to take my stuff" kind of mentality.  And all last season I told him ... you just need to try buddy.  Just try.  I know it's hot/cold/you're tired/the moon is full but please just try.  And normally he would, if only for one quarter.

And I came up with a clever rhyme I think might stick ... just try, not cry.  Said in a sing-song voice.

Sooo.  Yesterday we were going to have to split up for picture day because J was supposed to be napping.  So I told him Dad was going to take him in Dad's car to pictures.  Just me and Dad?  Well G can go too if you want.  I don't want G to get to stay home and play with toys without me.  He'll be at rest time.  Okay than he can stay here.

Sibling rivalry is a weird thing.

But Julia didn't end up napping.  So We were all going to take one car.

An expectation was not met.  Therefore change.  Therefore feelings.

Okay dude, tell you what.  If you just try real hard and play today, Daddy will take you to get ice cream in Daddy's car after the game.  Special.  Just you and Daddy.

And that worked.  He talked about it a lot.  Mom, so when daddy and I go get ice cream we'll take his car?  Yes.  And we can go to the actual ice cream shop?  Yes.

And he went out there and played hard.  I still had to fuss over him.  Like over-the-top cheering and pride and watching every single time.  It's kind of stressful for me actually I'm afraid if I look down for even a second he's going to revolt.

But he noticed.  He even posed for my camera a few times.

In my brain here's what I see ... G plays soccer.  D has gone to every practice and every game.  He's seen us make-over G.  G loves soccer.  There's some sort of competition here that is manifesting as nerves which makes my second born child not even want to try.  So I have to make it special or reassure or something.  That's what I see.

In the end they won.  We have a ringer on this team.  He is so fast and good and has great ball control.  The competitive teams (non rec league) have tried to get his parents to put him on the elite squads ... he and they don't want to.  They don't want to specialize at five and even at five those dumb teams have 2/3 practices a week.

Easy way to burn out.

In fact, on G's team we have a kid that switched from elite back to rec because he just wants to play and he's sick of being harassed about being the best.

It was a great sports day for my boys yesterday.  I was so super proud.

Three more seasons till J's start.  And that girl is going to dominate.