When I was pregnant with D about midway through I was trying to convince Lewis that we needed two cribs. There was no way I was ready to move G to a big boy bed! He was too little! On this issue Lewis was intransigent. No new crib.
When I asked for a new chair it was even more of a non-starter.
(And my inner feminist revolts: I didn't ask. It was a discussion and his points won out. If I really wanted either item I'd have just ordered it.)
Because logic prevailed. My desire to keep things status quo is not a good reason to spend thousands of dollars we didn't need to spend.
The time for that crib is nearing an end. It has the tooth marks of three children. I have spent many nights laid down next to it, shushing lots of whimpers and whines.
And that chair ... oh the nights I have spent in that chair. I nursed all my babies in that chair. Sang to all my babies in that chair.
I feel a bit like Wendy - which is appropriate because I'm seeing Finding Neverland tonight downtown.
"It's high time she had a room of her own."
I'm not putting her in a big girl bed until our schedule settles down. But probably by Halloween I'll have the mattress here and the bed things ordered. I can not get my mind around it all. And if I think too long on any of it I can get really, really sentimental. Don't misunderstand I have no longing for more babies.
I just really, really miss my babies.
You really do forget the hardest parts. You just remember the sweet smells and the coos and the pretty pictures in the sailor outfits and the big gummy smiles.
So much of G's babyhood is lost to me. Just gone. I can't remember. The baby face that looks at me in pictures I don't even recognize. And it's only been 7 years. I mean now he's reading. And spending four hours at a friends house playing Minecraft.
Lewis made a horrible statement yesterday ... I said "but can my kids really spend their entire childhood in Texas?"
L: "Half way there."
M: -----
Mind. Blown.
I took down the changing table today and set up her dresser as a dresser. We never use it anyway. It just stayed because it had always been there.
The next adventures will be amazing. And that makes me happy. But I no longer have any babies. And in a few months that final baby chapter - her crib - will be gone.
Comments