The Art of Weaning
I haven't discussed this much in the past. There's not really a ton of reasons other than first - who really cares? no one but me - and second, well the boys weaned easy peasy. Grady self weaned at 12mo and David more or less at 14mo did the same. No crying. No fits. No pulling on me.
Which brings me to baby #3.
Who is not weaning easy. Who pulled at me when she got tired and hungry. And it just soured my experience here towards the end.
I love nursing. And I loathe it. I am the first EBF mother that I know that probably pushes formula for other people. If you talk to me and you're struggling with nursing I'll tell you switch. Get formula. It's not the devil. It saves lives.
But.
My kids never had a drop of formula in the whole of their lives.
I'm not proud of that. Or ashamed. It simply is.
But 3rd baby has not wanted to wean down from 4 feedings. But I forced it. I dropped the first nap and its feeding. I tried to drop the feeding before nap next. But it did not go over well. So I relented (after a couple days of all the girls in this house weeping) and dropped the AM feeding first.
That worked much better. And suddenly she was eating better and drinking better and I was able to breathe a bit. Last Saturday I dropped the feeding before nap. This has not gone great. As predicted. I try to rock her and cuddle her but she doesn't want any part of that really. She wants ... I'm not sure. I offer her cups of water or milk but she is not interested.
So I lay her down and walk out. Momma loves you. Buh bye.
And she cries for 5-10min (usually 4-5min) and falls asleep.
The bedtime one is the next to go. And I'm nothing if not irrational; because I'm blue about the whole thing. I wanted it to be a peaceful and easy transition (like the boys) and it hasn't been. She is stubborn in ways the boys are not.
I am scared - also irrationally - that she will hate me for weaning. I am scared she will hate me for making her do this. I am scared that the quiet peaceful moments that nursing afforded will be gone. Replaced with screaming, anger, resentment and frustration.
I know somewhere in my brain that this is nonsensical. That she is a baby programmed to love her caregiver and that she will move on from this and not remember in two weeks that she ever even nursed in the first place.
But my irrational heart worries. Because it's irrational.
At this point, down to one feeding, it is not about nutrition it's about comfort. So I feel comfortable dropping it. At least from that point of view. So this weekend, probably Sunday, I will do just that.
But she's my last baby. She is the last baby I will ever nurse. (Part of me just said THANK YOU GOD). And like my OB told me - "I was sad on the day I quit nursing my last. But the next day I realized - I am free."
And that's the whole thing. I can wear what I want without thinking about how I'll nurse. I can go out without timing how or when I'll need to feed her. And at this point I'm already there. All things being equal I'd keep the last feeding for a while longer. But I'm done.
My body has done it's part. It can go rest now. It can get back into whatever shape it wants to be in.
And it can be mine. And no ones food source.
Jen Hatmaker - who I have a lot of thoughts on - not all good - wrote a post yesterday about her cat that had kittens and was nursing them inside a basket.
I'm stepping out of the basket.
Which brings me to baby #3.
Who is not weaning easy. Who pulled at me when she got tired and hungry. And it just soured my experience here towards the end.
I love nursing. And I loathe it. I am the first EBF mother that I know that probably pushes formula for other people. If you talk to me and you're struggling with nursing I'll tell you switch. Get formula. It's not the devil. It saves lives.
But.
My kids never had a drop of formula in the whole of their lives.
I'm not proud of that. Or ashamed. It simply is.
But 3rd baby has not wanted to wean down from 4 feedings. But I forced it. I dropped the first nap and its feeding. I tried to drop the feeding before nap next. But it did not go over well. So I relented (after a couple days of all the girls in this house weeping) and dropped the AM feeding first.
That worked much better. And suddenly she was eating better and drinking better and I was able to breathe a bit. Last Saturday I dropped the feeding before nap. This has not gone great. As predicted. I try to rock her and cuddle her but she doesn't want any part of that really. She wants ... I'm not sure. I offer her cups of water or milk but she is not interested.
So I lay her down and walk out. Momma loves you. Buh bye.
And she cries for 5-10min (usually 4-5min) and falls asleep.
The bedtime one is the next to go. And I'm nothing if not irrational; because I'm blue about the whole thing. I wanted it to be a peaceful and easy transition (like the boys) and it hasn't been. She is stubborn in ways the boys are not.
I am scared - also irrationally - that she will hate me for weaning. I am scared she will hate me for making her do this. I am scared that the quiet peaceful moments that nursing afforded will be gone. Replaced with screaming, anger, resentment and frustration.
I know somewhere in my brain that this is nonsensical. That she is a baby programmed to love her caregiver and that she will move on from this and not remember in two weeks that she ever even nursed in the first place.
But my irrational heart worries. Because it's irrational.
At this point, down to one feeding, it is not about nutrition it's about comfort. So I feel comfortable dropping it. At least from that point of view. So this weekend, probably Sunday, I will do just that.
But she's my last baby. She is the last baby I will ever nurse. (Part of me just said THANK YOU GOD). And like my OB told me - "I was sad on the day I quit nursing my last. But the next day I realized - I am free."
And that's the whole thing. I can wear what I want without thinking about how I'll nurse. I can go out without timing how or when I'll need to feed her. And at this point I'm already there. All things being equal I'd keep the last feeding for a while longer. But I'm done.
My body has done it's part. It can go rest now. It can get back into whatever shape it wants to be in.
And it can be mine. And no ones food source.
Jen Hatmaker - who I have a lot of thoughts on - not all good - wrote a post yesterday about her cat that had kittens and was nursing them inside a basket.
I talk to the cat like I do young mamas: "I know, I know. All they do is nurse and paw at you all the living day. You...
Posted by Jen Hatmaker on Wednesday, March 30, 2016
I'm stepping out of the basket.
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