The internet is full of mommy bloggers. (hi, my name is Stacy, and I'm a mommy blogger). They write all sorts of useful and insightful things. I read many of them. Chances are if it went viral in the last four or five years, I've read it. The posts are like this one, or this one. Both are well written and worth reading. Both make me tear up and think okay, I can do this.
But lately I am shaking my head. Seriously folks. Seriously.
I am in a new place. Not weird. Not hard. But new. So by definition it is a change and I don't do well with change, always. Which you'd think, being a military brat, change and me would get along.
With the new school, we have a new schedule. G gets dropped off at 730. Pick up at 250. D gets dropped off at 910 on Tuesday and Thursday. Picked up at 2. The baby wants a nap at 9. Another nap at 2. Soccer is at 545 on Wednesdays. Bedtime is at 7. Dinner is at 5. MOPS is at 930 every other Wednesday. Dry cleaning needs to go on Monday or Thursday. In by 9 out by 3. Grocery shopping needs to get done about twice a week (I go through a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk every 4 days, fruit every 3. Two bags of frozen veggies every 5.) Doctors appointments. Dentist. Dishes pile up in my sink because we eat breakfast in a hurry, throw them in the sink, go to school. Dinner is about the same. Lunch.
The baby eats every 3 hours. I'm not drinking enough water or eating enough good fat and it's taking it's a toll. Have to take care of myself so I can take care of her.
It's just overwhelming, sometimes. And while yes, I'm okay letting dishes or dinner go because I have to prioritize my kids or my spouse ... acts of service are part of adult love languages (to use the overused phrase). And living like that for more than a day or two takes a toll on everyone in the house. And when you have one or two kids, yes, one or two days of dish pile up is okay.
But three kids? Dishes piled up? That's chaos. Laundry piled up with three kids? Uncontrollable. You are making your own life harder.
But these posts - about just changing your expectations. Let it go.
No one wants to change their expectations to live in filth. And dishes and laundry and cleaning have to get done. Does it get spotless? No. Does it need to be? No. But it has to be clean. It just does.
These posts are great for the one or two days that folks with one or two kids get off track.
But if you have three ... you really can not let it go.
Or it will destroy you.
I have to do the kids laundry every other day or so. I've taken steps to make it better. The boys want to wear different pajamas every night. Nu-uh kid. NO. New towels everyday? No. Consider this the holiday inn and we're conserving water. No more. You get one towel a week.
Same with cups. One cup a day. They are awful about getting new cups every time they want water. (downside to them getting their own snacks / drinks).
Trash has to get taken out constantly. Or the smells. Lord the smells. I wish I could just not let the boys have a trash can upstairs. But. Can't.
My expectations about my house have changed. The clutter lives. The toys are what they are. Legos are what legos are. But some things you just can not let go.
Or they will destroy you.
I'm waiting for the day the laundry over takes me. It is hard to keep up. So hard. Because the kids do need me. Because snack / help with this / play with this / build this / at school we did this / water! / etc ad naseum.
And I feel lately that I have less time to play with them and I'm more in a constant state of go go go go go. The downtime at the house I have to use to do chores. So I have to some how incorporate them into the chores and make it fun and that just gets flipping exhausting. I can not always be intentional. I can't. Everything can not always be a teachable, fun moment.
Sometimes it's just work. Sometimes I just kick them outside and tell them I'll call them for dinner. Thank the Lord for my gated backyard with it's full windows visible from the kitchen (before you all call CPS). Thank the Lord for 80 degree days.
But lately I am shaking my head. Seriously folks. Seriously.
I am in a new place. Not weird. Not hard. But new. So by definition it is a change and I don't do well with change, always. Which you'd think, being a military brat, change and me would get along.
With the new school, we have a new schedule. G gets dropped off at 730. Pick up at 250. D gets dropped off at 910 on Tuesday and Thursday. Picked up at 2. The baby wants a nap at 9. Another nap at 2. Soccer is at 545 on Wednesdays. Bedtime is at 7. Dinner is at 5. MOPS is at 930 every other Wednesday. Dry cleaning needs to go on Monday or Thursday. In by 9 out by 3. Grocery shopping needs to get done about twice a week (I go through a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk every 4 days, fruit every 3. Two bags of frozen veggies every 5.) Doctors appointments. Dentist. Dishes pile up in my sink because we eat breakfast in a hurry, throw them in the sink, go to school. Dinner is about the same. Lunch.
The baby eats every 3 hours. I'm not drinking enough water or eating enough good fat and it's taking it's a toll. Have to take care of myself so I can take care of her.
It's just overwhelming, sometimes. And while yes, I'm okay letting dishes or dinner go because I have to prioritize my kids or my spouse ... acts of service are part of adult love languages (to use the overused phrase). And living like that for more than a day or two takes a toll on everyone in the house. And when you have one or two kids, yes, one or two days of dish pile up is okay.
But three kids? Dishes piled up? That's chaos. Laundry piled up with three kids? Uncontrollable. You are making your own life harder.
But these posts - about just changing your expectations. Let it go.
No one wants to change their expectations to live in filth. And dishes and laundry and cleaning have to get done. Does it get spotless? No. Does it need to be? No. But it has to be clean. It just does.
These posts are great for the one or two days that folks with one or two kids get off track.
But if you have three ... you really can not let it go.
Or it will destroy you.
I have to do the kids laundry every other day or so. I've taken steps to make it better. The boys want to wear different pajamas every night. Nu-uh kid. NO. New towels everyday? No. Consider this the holiday inn and we're conserving water. No more. You get one towel a week.
Same with cups. One cup a day. They are awful about getting new cups every time they want water. (downside to them getting their own snacks / drinks).
Trash has to get taken out constantly. Or the smells. Lord the smells. I wish I could just not let the boys have a trash can upstairs. But. Can't.
My expectations about my house have changed. The clutter lives. The toys are what they are. Legos are what legos are. But some things you just can not let go.
Or they will destroy you.
I'm waiting for the day the laundry over takes me. It is hard to keep up. So hard. Because the kids do need me. Because snack / help with this / play with this / build this / at school we did this / water! / etc ad naseum.
And I feel lately that I have less time to play with them and I'm more in a constant state of go go go go go. The downtime at the house I have to use to do chores. So I have to some how incorporate them into the chores and make it fun and that just gets flipping exhausting. I can not always be intentional. I can't. Everything can not always be a teachable, fun moment.
Sometimes it's just work. Sometimes I just kick them outside and tell them I'll call them for dinner. Thank the Lord for my gated backyard with it's full windows visible from the kitchen (before you all call CPS). Thank the Lord for 80 degree days.
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