False Alarms
I don't even really want to write this all down. It's just such a downer. I'm not even sure why. Wait, no yes I am sure. It's because I don't know my body. I don't know what's going on. And I feel tricked by my own ... self.
So it's not because I don't have a baby yet. I do have a baby. The baby is there and healthy and fine. So that's all great. Just want to get that out there.
Yesterday I went for a check and was told I was a 4 and 90%. I had been having contractions that rolled through my back (ouch) since the night before. But they ebbed when I went to bed and started again when my feet hit the floor the next morning. After I left the check, the contractions were about 7/8min apart and about 30sec long. Not anything really. They slowed and sort of went away about 2pm. But at 5pm they picked up a bit stronger and were 3/4min apart and 45sec long.
I had been told at my appointment that if I had 12 contractions in an hour that lasted 45sec long to go in to L&D. So, I did what I was told. I called my doc. We drove to the hospital.
So we get there, still contracting. Still with the awful back pain and tight belly. Urge to vomit. Just lots of fun. I get checked.
3cm / 70%.
This feels like de ja vu. I'm not going to push or moan or ask the questions that I did last time. I don't want to kick start labor with pitocin at this point. Do I think D was ready? Yes I do. Do I think that he would have been here on his own a few days later? Yes I do. But armed with this, this second pregnancy that is having similar symptoms and yielding similar results. I'm beginning to think that false labor is just part of my story.
I immediately want to go home.
But doc wants me to walk the halls and see if it picks up. We walk for over an hour. Go back and monitor for 30min. Contractions every 4min. 50sec long. Still really hurt in my back. Baby doing great though.
Oh that's the other thing. As soon as she went to check me ... baby is way too high. As soon as she was doing that my brain knew ... nope. Not it. She's not engaged yet.
After I was checked again (after monitoring, walking) and there was no change we did the walk of shame home. Lewis, bless his heart, tried to be light and comforting but I felt discouraged and so completely embarrassed to have been so wrong and really just wanted to cry myself to sleep. The doctor offered me ambien which I of course refused and when we got home (lewis chatted the whole way home and I just stared out the window, still contracting, back still hurting) I went straight to bed.
The contractions continued for a while but I eventually fell asleep. I woke up about 2am to really painful contractions in my back but those too, went away. When I woke up this morning at 6am they started again and I've had more all day.
But it's all false.
It's hurtful and mean but it is what it is. Some women don't dilate and don't efface, some women can't produce milk, hell some women can't conceive.
I apparently have a ton of false labor. Just the breaks.
I have a different perspective now, going into the last 10 or so days of this. I have less hope of labor starting on it's own before the doc will be pushing for an induction. Especially since my doc has me at one stage (4/90) and the L&D nurse had me at (3/70) which is very different for me and where things are at. I was 3/70 for the entire last month of G's pregnancy. He was late. All babies are different. All pregnancies are different.
And while things getting kick started on their own is still possible ... so is it that this sweet child's birth day is actually in March. And that's okay. It really is.
I just wish that I wouldn't have the constant contractions between now and then. They hurt enough to be distracting. And they do nothing. So if those could stop, that'd be awesome.
So it's not because I don't have a baby yet. I do have a baby. The baby is there and healthy and fine. So that's all great. Just want to get that out there.
Yesterday I went for a check and was told I was a 4 and 90%. I had been having contractions that rolled through my back (ouch) since the night before. But they ebbed when I went to bed and started again when my feet hit the floor the next morning. After I left the check, the contractions were about 7/8min apart and about 30sec long. Not anything really. They slowed and sort of went away about 2pm. But at 5pm they picked up a bit stronger and were 3/4min apart and 45sec long.
I had been told at my appointment that if I had 12 contractions in an hour that lasted 45sec long to go in to L&D. So, I did what I was told. I called my doc. We drove to the hospital.
So we get there, still contracting. Still with the awful back pain and tight belly. Urge to vomit. Just lots of fun. I get checked.
3cm / 70%.
This feels like de ja vu. I'm not going to push or moan or ask the questions that I did last time. I don't want to kick start labor with pitocin at this point. Do I think D was ready? Yes I do. Do I think that he would have been here on his own a few days later? Yes I do. But armed with this, this second pregnancy that is having similar symptoms and yielding similar results. I'm beginning to think that false labor is just part of my story.
I immediately want to go home.
But doc wants me to walk the halls and see if it picks up. We walk for over an hour. Go back and monitor for 30min. Contractions every 4min. 50sec long. Still really hurt in my back. Baby doing great though.
Oh that's the other thing. As soon as she went to check me ... baby is way too high. As soon as she was doing that my brain knew ... nope. Not it. She's not engaged yet.
After I was checked again (after monitoring, walking) and there was no change we did the walk of shame home. Lewis, bless his heart, tried to be light and comforting but I felt discouraged and so completely embarrassed to have been so wrong and really just wanted to cry myself to sleep. The doctor offered me ambien which I of course refused and when we got home (lewis chatted the whole way home and I just stared out the window, still contracting, back still hurting) I went straight to bed.
The contractions continued for a while but I eventually fell asleep. I woke up about 2am to really painful contractions in my back but those too, went away. When I woke up this morning at 6am they started again and I've had more all day.
But it's all false.
It's hurtful and mean but it is what it is. Some women don't dilate and don't efface, some women can't produce milk, hell some women can't conceive.
I apparently have a ton of false labor. Just the breaks.
I have a different perspective now, going into the last 10 or so days of this. I have less hope of labor starting on it's own before the doc will be pushing for an induction. Especially since my doc has me at one stage (4/90) and the L&D nurse had me at (3/70) which is very different for me and where things are at. I was 3/70 for the entire last month of G's pregnancy. He was late. All babies are different. All pregnancies are different.
And while things getting kick started on their own is still possible ... so is it that this sweet child's birth day is actually in March. And that's okay. It really is.
I just wish that I wouldn't have the constant contractions between now and then. They hurt enough to be distracting. And they do nothing. So if those could stop, that'd be awesome.
Comments