36 and 37 Weeks

I'm taking a lot of pictures as we approach the end.  Last baby and all that.  I try to keep that in mind as I'm starving to death but eat two bites and am full, because there's simply no room in my body to consume anything.  It's very odd.  I really am just starving.  But if I eat I feel sick.

Which is another fun side effect; morning sickness is back.  I've thrown up several times this week.

My other symptoms are relatively mild.  My sciatic pain isn't that bad and I don't feel too terrible, over all.  I am tired and moody and have absolutely no patience.  I lose it on the boys and then break down in tears because I'm a terrible mother for not being able to hold myself together and not scare the bajeesus out of a 4yo and 2yo with my fits of insanity.

I tell G ... mommy is going to be a little crazy for a while.  I need you to be a big boy.  I'm not sure if that's putting too much on him or not but I feel like preparation is probably best.

D ... oh D.  I tell D that baby sister is coming.  That mommy has plenty of cuddles for both him and the new baby.  I think he will be jealous.  I think he will not understand.  I am hoping that his love and admiration for big brother, will have him mimicking whatever behavior G decides to do with baby girl.

I also tell D that he needs to learn to use his "self-control."  And I see him trying.  He really does try.  Swallowing back big gulping sobs.  All because G got to turn the TV off and he didn't.

Anyway.  At my 36wk appointment I was 2cm and 70%.  I lost the "plug" somewhere in the 35th week.  I know this is TMI for most of the free world.  But I want it noted.  I'm not sure why; not like I'm having another one.  *wink wink*  (somewhere Lewis just died).

But I keep looking back through my pregnancy book and I didn't write it down with either G or D very faithfully.  Though I remember with D ... I was 3 and 80% at 38+6 ...

 
Which brings us to today.  The belly looks different to me.  Which is the other reason I broke the camera out.  She's lower, but if today's check is any rule to follow ... not that much lower.  I am told that siblings drop quickly, and a lightening, as it were, doesn't really have to happen.

At today's check she was surprised to find that I am 3cm and 75%.  She politely told me what to look for, and said it would be any time.  To which I said ... but I can walk around like this for weeks.  Nods.

Great.

We talked about scheduling my induction.  I was tempted.  Really tempted.  I could have this baby on the 20th, just like I want.  Get it all scheduled and orderly.  An easy pitocin drip because I know I'd be 4+ by then.  Especially if I kick up my activity level.

But I didn't.  Because it's not necessary.  And in my heart of hearts I know that I can kick start things and have this baby come on her own.  I'm halfway through early labor anyway.  I'm more afraid she's going to come too fast!

Though I did tell her any day after my due date get me on the list.

I have false labor every night.  I'm having a BH contraction right now.  I have some confidence that if I really wanted labor to pick up, during one of these episodes, if I started walking and just kept pushing it, labor would go.  Maybe that's a false sense I have there.

Lewis hatefully said last night I could have a baby in March.

I told him he could sleep outside.

I'm excited to meet her.  I'm waiting in anticipation of not sleeping, losing my mind, and having two boys to witness the whole break down.  The anticipation is really what's killing me.  Listening to every twinge and every drip as if "this is it!"  It's really hard on a person!


The other night we went to the mall and took the boys out to eat and did a little shopping.  It's not something we usually do.  We got ice cream.  We went to Neiman Marcus' baby department.  I spent way too much on the very first dress I've bought for sweet girl.  That doesn't include the tunic tops with leggings.  Those don't count.

It's smocked and it's adorable.  And it cost more than my own clothes.  But it's one of those things I just had to have.  And I got an adorable sleeper with tiny flowers on it made out of organic cotton because that's just what you do when you are in Neiman Marcus.

This is not her "take home" outfit.  That's just a Little Me outfit with more tiny flowers.


Today's name is different than her name was three days ago.  It's like a roulette wheel and wherever I land on her birth day is what she will be called.  And you know, depending on how I feel when I meet her.

Can you believe it?  I'm going to meet my daughter soon.  Who ever thought I'd have a daughter?  I still have thoughts that after I've bought all this girl stuff, she's going to pop out a he!  (I do have the name I like for a boy picked and all ready!)  We've had three sonograms and the last one the guy said with 100%.  So it's a girl.  But still.  You do hear stories.

This is what the nursery currently looks like.  There's more to do but I'm fairly pleased with how it's turning out.  Again, I decorate this room for myself, and a nice place to go sit with me and baby.  I made the mobile over there (duh) sort of off one I was eyeing on etsy but at $65 a pop I couldn't pull the trigger.  I know why they cost so much, they are labor intensive!  But still.  For something that we won't use that often, that the baby may not even like?  Yeah no.  The best things I ever bought for the boys rooms were the kites.  Both kites (Red Baron plane and Hot Air Balloon) are hanging in their current rooms.

It's all getting close.  And yet ... seems so far away!