"Tell her the TRUTH!!!"

There's a part in Aladdin where Al is asking Genie what he should do, how he can "win" Jasmine, how this is all going to work out, and Genie says - in the super voice of Robin Williams - "Tell her the TRUTH!!"

Well the truth is Robin, I'm mad at you.

I know the world isn't saying that.  They are saying oh I'm so sad, I'm so sorry, he was so tortured, look at him and all his success but he was a dark, tortured soul.

I'm sorry.  That's such narcissistic hogwash.  I know he was bipolar, that his "friends" are now saying he didn't want to do Mrs. Doubtfire 2.  Maybe that's true maybe that isn't.  But last I checked man was an adult who could probably come up with his own million dollar idea and have a study buy it.  He had three movies coming down, I don't think this man was forced into doing anything.

I think these anonymous "friends" just want to see their words in print.

But the bipolar thing.  That I get.  But there's treatment for that, and he was old enough and rich enough to have been getting help with that.

It's just such a waste.  Here was a man with the power to do good.  Real good.  To help people and make people smile and lift spirits and affect change.  And he couldn't get past his own issues to see that the world is bigger than just him.  I know, I know, that's part of the illness.

But that doesn't make it any less selfish.

I'm sad because of the Genie, John Keating, Mrs. Doubtfire, Adrian Cronauer, Peter Banning, Batty Koda, Alan Parrish, Sean MaGuire, "Wizard,"  ugh … looking at this filmography and the movies that I loved …

It's because my age, and when he was popular, and when my pop culture history started … but I feel like part of my history has died.  And his dying is just … selfish.  And it makes me mad.  And Genie I'm telling you the truth.

I'm mad at you.  Your life was not harder than the people suffering in Ferguson right now, who have tanks (?!?!) rolling down their streets in America and who don't know if they are safe from their own public servants or from their angry neighbors.

Your life was definitely not harder than Christians in Northern Iraq who are being threatened with death if they don't convert to Islam.  Or the others who get in ISIS's way while they attempt to ransack that country for their own nefarious purposes.

Your life may have been hard … but perspective, Robin, perspective!  You were given a gift, and I guess you got tired of sharing it.  So you took your ball and went home.

But, I guess he was tired of being funny.  Tired of being a dancing monkey.  I could see that.  But I dislike all this posthumous "oh he said this and this and this was wrong and this was wrong" because you don't hear his wife saying much and the man certainly isn't here to defend himself.

My uncle committed suicide when I was in college.  He was in constant pain from a leg injury, and other unsundry life choices he'd made.  So he ended it.  And the destroyed his parents and his family.

I'm seeing articles talking about how suicide is not selfish; depression is dark and those of us not suffering from depression just don't know how dark.  I've had PPD, twice, I can relate to the loss of control of ones emotions and just being overwhelmed by life.  If I hurt myself (while reading this my mother is cringing and my husband's giving me the side eye) it would be the epitome of selfish.  Because I didn't have the nerve or the will to ask for help, to get over it for the people who depend on me.

Genie I'm mad.  I'm so mad.

And just … heartbroken, that you made this choice.