When D was first born, and he spit up on me for the first time, I cried because it was like going back in time to when G was small. I had missed it! Yes, I had missed the smell of my son throwing up on me. And now, I don't think there will ever be a time that I can smell peanut butter or almond milk and not think of times when my babies were small.
In that same vein, I can not smell apple juice. If I smell it I want to throw it away. It will always smell like vomit to me. Because for several months of G's life … that was what his vomit smelled like. I do not miss that smell. Pediasure also does not smell good.
But almond milk and peanut butter … that is what my kids smell like. When they breathe on me that's what they smell like. And I file that away and it makes me happy.
D is amazing. Such a little person now. More comprehensive. More stable. He's still moody as all get out. Hard to know if it's the age or him, I don't remember how G was. I think he was moody too. I think D is going to be stoic. I *think*. I think he'll be stoic until a time when he isn't. Much like now. And then watch out! He has a smile that lights up his whole face. He is beautiful. I never tire of telling him that.
G is a conversationalist and so understanding. I like being with him. He minds well and bit by bit he understands causality and that his actions have consequences. I was asked again if I spank. I've done it twice. And never harshly. It was so shocking to him that I've not had to do it again. He wants to please me.
D wants to be near me. All the time. I also hope it's the age. I mean 100% it is. But he wants me on the floor within reach at all times. He'll play. But he looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm where he left me. A lot. It hurts my ability to get chores done. But I am getting more reading in. Which is nice.
I have pictures to edit on the camera. I will tomorrow. But almond milk and peanut butter. And quiet moments in the rocking chair, where he smiles at me and pushes at my cheeks until he laughs. I am so grateful that I had these years with them. I know I complain and they drive me crazy and disciplining kids is rough stuff but I am so grateful that in all of that … I still get lovely beautiful smiles and big hugs.
In that same vein, I can not smell apple juice. If I smell it I want to throw it away. It will always smell like vomit to me. Because for several months of G's life … that was what his vomit smelled like. I do not miss that smell. Pediasure also does not smell good.
But almond milk and peanut butter … that is what my kids smell like. When they breathe on me that's what they smell like. And I file that away and it makes me happy.
D is amazing. Such a little person now. More comprehensive. More stable. He's still moody as all get out. Hard to know if it's the age or him, I don't remember how G was. I think he was moody too. I think D is going to be stoic. I *think*. I think he'll be stoic until a time when he isn't. Much like now. And then watch out! He has a smile that lights up his whole face. He is beautiful. I never tire of telling him that.
G is a conversationalist and so understanding. I like being with him. He minds well and bit by bit he understands causality and that his actions have consequences. I was asked again if I spank. I've done it twice. And never harshly. It was so shocking to him that I've not had to do it again. He wants to please me.
D wants to be near me. All the time. I also hope it's the age. I mean 100% it is. But he wants me on the floor within reach at all times. He'll play. But he looks over his shoulder to make sure I'm where he left me. A lot. It hurts my ability to get chores done. But I am getting more reading in. Which is nice.
I have pictures to edit on the camera. I will tomorrow. But almond milk and peanut butter. And quiet moments in the rocking chair, where he smiles at me and pushes at my cheeks until he laughs. I am so grateful that I had these years with them. I know I complain and they drive me crazy and disciplining kids is rough stuff but I am so grateful that in all of that … I still get lovely beautiful smiles and big hugs.
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