Parenting Follies
I could be really cool and write a whole series of these but mostly what this blog is for is writing down stuff I want to remember so it's more journal than anything else. I don't advertise that I have a blog I don't tell people I have a blog. Hence my 8 readers. Most of whom I am related to by blood.
So anyway this parenting thing can be a real drag.
I take myself, my role as mom, very seriously. I can hear you give a slight chuckle, duh Stacy, we all do. Yes, but no. I take my job very seriously. So that sometimes leads to me being a control freak, because I do things a certain way and want them done a certain way. This does not extend to their father, who does run rimshod over my rules many a times but that's his role in the kids lives right now. Comic relief. Relief from mommy. Relief from the rules. They need that as much as they need anything else.
So I run a tight ship. My child is expected to behave. He is expected to listen. If he does not do either or both of those things he earns himself time outs and he earns himself the end of whatever fun activity he was partaking in. We have left many a playdate because someone couldn't share. I do not believe in distraction (at G's age). I believe in actions having consequences.
I pride myself on discipline. I do. I am proud of my son and his behavior and how well he does. Please do not read this that my son is perfect. He is not. He's three. He's a mess of emotional bad choices.
But I don't let him get away with them. And bless his heart he tries really hard.
Case in point.
We were at Target the day after Halloween. We were in a crowded halloween aisle looking at the 90% mark downs. It was stressful and a little chaotic and G had picked up a costume sword and was hitting the cart with it playing. I told him to stop hitting, he did not. I took the sword away and put it back on the rack.
He started crying. I moved the cart and had him sit on the bottom rack. He needed to stop crying before we continued. He cried harder. But mama I want the sword!
Okay since when do we just grab things and say we want them? That does not happen. And two, screaming at me and crying is inappropriate and not a good choice.
I probably said all of those words. Not good. Too many words for an upset three year old. He got even more upset. Foot stomping. Screaming. Lots of tears.
Okay G, now we have to leave the store and go home.
But what about the toy aisle?
I'm sorry, but you made a bad choice by throwing a fit and we do not get to go to the toy aisle.
He screamed louder. He actually tried to walk the opposite direction from me. Which earned him a seat inside the cart with all the groceries. I had to leave the store before I finished my shopping (I was soooo mad). It was not good.
But the next time we went to the store, he really wanted to go down the toy aisle. So he said Mommy, if I don't throw a fit, can we down the toy aisle? Yes sweetie, if you make good choices and listen to mommy, we can look at the toys.
And he behaved.
Which brings us to today.
Today we went to the park with a friend. This was my first experience with Chalupa wanting to do one thing and G running off to do something different. It was chaotic. I felt very unnerved. G was trying to go down the slides and instead of being able to just follow him I had to help the much slower Chalupa walk and navigate. So we left the big kid side in favor of the little kid side and we were there maybe four minutes before I couldn't find G again. Turns out, he had left that side of the park and gone to the other side, with the big green slide.
When I found him, I said that's it, we're done. We're going home.
He freaked.
I sat him down.
Listen, you can not walk off from mama. I thought you were under the playground right near me, but you weren't. You had left this area and that's not okay. I have to watch both you and your brother and if you want to play at the park, you have to stay with me at all times, and tell me where you are going.
Or something like that. He did not want to leave. He said he'd be good. He promised to stay. But he hadn't been listening great all morning. I felt like I couldn't trust him and it was stressing me out. And plus, I'd already said we were leaving. I had to follow through.
I do not like getting mad at him. But he scared me and it made me nervous that I wasn't able to keep up with him. It was a scene and I got looks and I wish those people would just stop looking. At least I'm trying. I don't want to be the mom that runs around looking for the kid and says "oh there you are," and then lets him go play some more like he didn't do anything wrong.
I dunno. It was not pleasant and he was so unhappy. But when we got home and I asked him what he learned he said, to stay with mommy at the park. So maybe it wasn't a total horrible thing.
So anyway this parenting thing can be a real drag.
I take myself, my role as mom, very seriously. I can hear you give a slight chuckle, duh Stacy, we all do. Yes, but no. I take my job very seriously. So that sometimes leads to me being a control freak, because I do things a certain way and want them done a certain way. This does not extend to their father, who does run rimshod over my rules many a times but that's his role in the kids lives right now. Comic relief. Relief from mommy. Relief from the rules. They need that as much as they need anything else.
So I run a tight ship. My child is expected to behave. He is expected to listen. If he does not do either or both of those things he earns himself time outs and he earns himself the end of whatever fun activity he was partaking in. We have left many a playdate because someone couldn't share. I do not believe in distraction (at G's age). I believe in actions having consequences.
I pride myself on discipline. I do. I am proud of my son and his behavior and how well he does. Please do not read this that my son is perfect. He is not. He's three. He's a mess of emotional bad choices.
But I don't let him get away with them. And bless his heart he tries really hard.
Case in point.
We were at Target the day after Halloween. We were in a crowded halloween aisle looking at the 90% mark downs. It was stressful and a little chaotic and G had picked up a costume sword and was hitting the cart with it playing. I told him to stop hitting, he did not. I took the sword away and put it back on the rack.
He started crying. I moved the cart and had him sit on the bottom rack. He needed to stop crying before we continued. He cried harder. But mama I want the sword!
Okay since when do we just grab things and say we want them? That does not happen. And two, screaming at me and crying is inappropriate and not a good choice.
I probably said all of those words. Not good. Too many words for an upset three year old. He got even more upset. Foot stomping. Screaming. Lots of tears.
Okay G, now we have to leave the store and go home.
But what about the toy aisle?
I'm sorry, but you made a bad choice by throwing a fit and we do not get to go to the toy aisle.
He screamed louder. He actually tried to walk the opposite direction from me. Which earned him a seat inside the cart with all the groceries. I had to leave the store before I finished my shopping (I was soooo mad). It was not good.
But the next time we went to the store, he really wanted to go down the toy aisle. So he said Mommy, if I don't throw a fit, can we down the toy aisle? Yes sweetie, if you make good choices and listen to mommy, we can look at the toys.
And he behaved.
Which brings us to today.
Today we went to the park with a friend. This was my first experience with Chalupa wanting to do one thing and G running off to do something different. It was chaotic. I felt very unnerved. G was trying to go down the slides and instead of being able to just follow him I had to help the much slower Chalupa walk and navigate. So we left the big kid side in favor of the little kid side and we were there maybe four minutes before I couldn't find G again. Turns out, he had left that side of the park and gone to the other side, with the big green slide.
When I found him, I said that's it, we're done. We're going home.
He freaked.
I sat him down.
Listen, you can not walk off from mama. I thought you were under the playground right near me, but you weren't. You had left this area and that's not okay. I have to watch both you and your brother and if you want to play at the park, you have to stay with me at all times, and tell me where you are going.
Or something like that. He did not want to leave. He said he'd be good. He promised to stay. But he hadn't been listening great all morning. I felt like I couldn't trust him and it was stressing me out. And plus, I'd already said we were leaving. I had to follow through.
I do not like getting mad at him. But he scared me and it made me nervous that I wasn't able to keep up with him. It was a scene and I got looks and I wish those people would just stop looking. At least I'm trying. I don't want to be the mom that runs around looking for the kid and says "oh there you are," and then lets him go play some more like he didn't do anything wrong.
I dunno. It was not pleasant and he was so unhappy. But when we got home and I asked him what he learned he said, to stay with mommy at the park. So maybe it wasn't a total horrible thing.
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