Two Kids. Two years. Things you need to know.
Flexibility is the key to airpower. And multiple children. And life in general probably.
Baby toys are a joke to baby #2. He is not easily fooled. He does not want baby safe anything. He wants the multiple pieces and buttons and noises that entertain his older sibling.
Baby carrier / sling. Everyday. Love it. Embrace it. You need it.
Forget the "rules." If you think your baby is hungry, feed him. If you think your baby is tired, let him sleep. Do not try to adhere to a schedule that was written in some book by some man who's children are teenagers and who never stayed home with his kids.
Ambient noise. White noise. Machines. Water. Fans. Radio static (great tip for hotel stays BTW). Also your friend.
Nursing. Feed your baby longer than ten minutes if your baby wants to eat for longer then ten minutes. You are not a pacifier. You are his mother. If you are helping him calm down, regulate temperature, slow heart rate, relax, destress, decompress, whatever ... what is wrong with that? Pacifier to a baby = wine to mama. Can you live without your wine? Alright then. Let the baby nurse.
Best advice I heard from doc this go round: if you do nothing, your baby will eventually sleep longer than two hours at a time. So going in there and feeding him every two hours will not make him a disjointed sleeper for life. This was true for us. I went in there for every waking for 8 months. At 8 months he was inconsoloable one night and screaming while I held him so I eventually gave him meds and laid him down. He cried for 25 minutes and went to bed. Turned out he had cut his first tooth. Ever since then it's been 15minutes or less. And he sleeps 7 - 7.
My baby slept on his tummy from 4 months on.
I can handle stress from my kids far far far easier than I can handle stress from my husband. Worrying about my kids is not debilitating. Worrying about my husband stops me in my tracks.
Potty training. Folks that claim they did it in a week either are not far enough along in the process to know what they are talking about or they are just flat. out. lying. Or they have a different definition of success. G was "potty trained" after about a month. But then a few months later he fell apart and we're having issues again. I also know a woman that said she won't wash out poopy underwear. She'll just throw it away. Hmmm. Me thinks you do not know that of which you speak.
Post partum depression is real. It does not mean you want to hurt anyone. It does not mean you are crazy. It does not mean "it effects you worse than me." It doesn't mean any of that. It just means it took 9 months to get your hormones up that high and it's going to take some time to level back out. I fully believe it comes in waves, and is made so so so so much worse by sleep deprivation. Embrace it, have a good cry, take a long walk and get some vitamin D. It will pass. You will feel better soon, and you won't always be mad at your spouse (which is a symptom, BTW). Admitting you have PPD does not mean you are Andrea Yates or that you want to hurt anyone. It just means that you aren't yourself, are on like, a prolonged PMS kick, and people should cut you some slack. (Though if you do have thoughts about hurting people - get help too).
I do not suscribe to this idea of "sleep when baby sleeps" or "hand off baby to a friend and get some rest." These are unrealistic expectations for a SAHM who's sleep cycles coincide with the sun. And - for me - a person who can not rest when their children are not at peace. I do suscribe to co-sleeping, nursing to sleep (hugely), sleeping in swings, long car rides to get naps and to have an uninterrupted cup of coffee. Break the rules (especially pre 6 months). I once took the boys on a two hour car ride to the local dump to see trucks so that Chalupa could nap longer than twenty minutes. I frequently drove through the airport for the same reason. Entertainment for G and much needed rest for Chalupa. These things don't make me a bad parent. They make me an awesome parent. Anything that got me downtime (driving meant I didn't have to hold fussy pants) and a drink or food was well worth my time.
Quit hanging out with other SAHM's. This is a whole other post. I don't want to go into to many of the reasons. I've reached a point in my life where I don't want to be challenged on the decisions I make parenting. Many things I enjoy hearing other points of view. But parenting? Not so much anymore. This primarily involves health care / food and if you know us you know why this is. I was asking too many opinions. I was thinking too much. I have made many many mistakes in the care of G. And now I want to give everyone the finger when they start talking about how their kid eats organically and look how awesome they are at parenting. Point of fact: you didn't do shit to get them to do that. That's all the kid. The converse of that - everytime someone says that this is what I hear - is that those of us with picky eaters made them picky. And if you think that's true I'd invite you to come spend one day with me. Just one.
Double stroller. Get one.
Puddle jumpers are cool too. Learned that recently.
Seriously get puppets. Actually run and get them right now. G tells things to the puppets that he won't say to his parents. Even though his dad is sitting right next to him, every night they "do the zebra" and G has entire conversations about his day with the zebra. We can tell what really affected him that day and what was bothering him. If he and I had a bad day (happens) he will tell the zebra that mommy yelled at him or that mommy made him mad or that he was bad or whatever about the incident stuck in his brain. This is incredibly useful to me. He once told the zebra that mommy never listened to him, so after that I made a big point to listen pointedly "mommy is listening to you G." And I really think that made him feel better. If I ask him about his day he says he had fun. But he really thinks all day about what he will tell the zebra. Not joking. There is a reason puppets are used in kid therapy.
So really ... parenting stuff that is a must? Baby carrier, double stroller, and puppets. Everything else you can figure out on your own I guess. And some of this is specific to us because of G. Who has hit another new number on the scale. Yahoo.
Baby toys are a joke to baby #2. He is not easily fooled. He does not want baby safe anything. He wants the multiple pieces and buttons and noises that entertain his older sibling.
Baby carrier / sling. Everyday. Love it. Embrace it. You need it.
Forget the "rules." If you think your baby is hungry, feed him. If you think your baby is tired, let him sleep. Do not try to adhere to a schedule that was written in some book by some man who's children are teenagers and who never stayed home with his kids.
Ambient noise. White noise. Machines. Water. Fans. Radio static (great tip for hotel stays BTW). Also your friend.
Nursing. Feed your baby longer than ten minutes if your baby wants to eat for longer then ten minutes. You are not a pacifier. You are his mother. If you are helping him calm down, regulate temperature, slow heart rate, relax, destress, decompress, whatever ... what is wrong with that? Pacifier to a baby = wine to mama. Can you live without your wine? Alright then. Let the baby nurse.
Best advice I heard from doc this go round: if you do nothing, your baby will eventually sleep longer than two hours at a time. So going in there and feeding him every two hours will not make him a disjointed sleeper for life. This was true for us. I went in there for every waking for 8 months. At 8 months he was inconsoloable one night and screaming while I held him so I eventually gave him meds and laid him down. He cried for 25 minutes and went to bed. Turned out he had cut his first tooth. Ever since then it's been 15minutes or less. And he sleeps 7 - 7.
My baby slept on his tummy from 4 months on.
I can handle stress from my kids far far far easier than I can handle stress from my husband. Worrying about my kids is not debilitating. Worrying about my husband stops me in my tracks.
Potty training. Folks that claim they did it in a week either are not far enough along in the process to know what they are talking about or they are just flat. out. lying. Or they have a different definition of success. G was "potty trained" after about a month. But then a few months later he fell apart and we're having issues again. I also know a woman that said she won't wash out poopy underwear. She'll just throw it away. Hmmm. Me thinks you do not know that of which you speak.
Post partum depression is real. It does not mean you want to hurt anyone. It does not mean you are crazy. It does not mean "it effects you worse than me." It doesn't mean any of that. It just means it took 9 months to get your hormones up that high and it's going to take some time to level back out. I fully believe it comes in waves, and is made so so so so much worse by sleep deprivation. Embrace it, have a good cry, take a long walk and get some vitamin D. It will pass. You will feel better soon, and you won't always be mad at your spouse (which is a symptom, BTW). Admitting you have PPD does not mean you are Andrea Yates or that you want to hurt anyone. It just means that you aren't yourself, are on like, a prolonged PMS kick, and people should cut you some slack. (Though if you do have thoughts about hurting people - get help too).
I do not suscribe to this idea of "sleep when baby sleeps" or "hand off baby to a friend and get some rest." These are unrealistic expectations for a SAHM who's sleep cycles coincide with the sun. And - for me - a person who can not rest when their children are not at peace. I do suscribe to co-sleeping, nursing to sleep (hugely), sleeping in swings, long car rides to get naps and to have an uninterrupted cup of coffee. Break the rules (especially pre 6 months). I once took the boys on a two hour car ride to the local dump to see trucks so that Chalupa could nap longer than twenty minutes. I frequently drove through the airport for the same reason. Entertainment for G and much needed rest for Chalupa. These things don't make me a bad parent. They make me an awesome parent. Anything that got me downtime (driving meant I didn't have to hold fussy pants) and a drink or food was well worth my time.
Quit hanging out with other SAHM's. This is a whole other post. I don't want to go into to many of the reasons. I've reached a point in my life where I don't want to be challenged on the decisions I make parenting. Many things I enjoy hearing other points of view. But parenting? Not so much anymore. This primarily involves health care / food and if you know us you know why this is. I was asking too many opinions. I was thinking too much. I have made many many mistakes in the care of G. And now I want to give everyone the finger when they start talking about how their kid eats organically and look how awesome they are at parenting. Point of fact: you didn't do shit to get them to do that. That's all the kid. The converse of that - everytime someone says that this is what I hear - is that those of us with picky eaters made them picky. And if you think that's true I'd invite you to come spend one day with me. Just one.
Double stroller. Get one.
Puddle jumpers are cool too. Learned that recently.
Seriously get puppets. Actually run and get them right now. G tells things to the puppets that he won't say to his parents. Even though his dad is sitting right next to him, every night they "do the zebra" and G has entire conversations about his day with the zebra. We can tell what really affected him that day and what was bothering him. If he and I had a bad day (happens) he will tell the zebra that mommy yelled at him or that mommy made him mad or that he was bad or whatever about the incident stuck in his brain. This is incredibly useful to me. He once told the zebra that mommy never listened to him, so after that I made a big point to listen pointedly "mommy is listening to you G." And I really think that made him feel better. If I ask him about his day he says he had fun. But he really thinks all day about what he will tell the zebra. Not joking. There is a reason puppets are used in kid therapy.
So really ... parenting stuff that is a must? Baby carrier, double stroller, and puppets. Everything else you can figure out on your own I guess. And some of this is specific to us because of G. Who has hit another new number on the scale. Yahoo.
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