15 Months

From _lightroom3

We have a smattering of success lately. G is still the worlds pickiest eater and hovering around the same weight.  He's gained, but for whatever reason he's hovering again and it's my job to get him over this plateau that he seems to have hit.

And while I'm fine getting over plateaus with M&Ms and donuts, the mom in me really looks at his diet (which is full of protein, vitamin A, vitamin C and a smattering of other vitamins) and I see a big hole that I really, really think I could fill and get us over the plateaus.

Dairy.

Now he can't have dairy, as a general rule.  His skin breaks out and it causes havoc with his system.  We do yogurt, but yogurt is an enigma of the dairy world and is easy on tummies of even the lactose intolerant.  But even yogurt in concentrated amounts will cause his skin to break out in a rash.  So what to do?

Well I really want to do pediasure.  I hate the non-dairy milk options.  The only viable one for him is almond milk and the calorie intake there is a joke and not worth the fight.  If I'm going to fight food battles with G, I want them to be worth it.  High calorie, good fat, worth it.

So I picked the pediasure fight.

And I'm winning.  It feels so good to win.

Yesterday he drank half a can of pediasure with his pb&j.  I can't remember what the bribe there was but I know there was one.  Probably M&Ms.  Anyway.  So today at lunch I try again.  And we have those cheapy "take and toss" cups (which I don't understand - why would you toss them?  They are perfectly acceptable?  And they make great transition cups from lids to no lids) which you can see through?  He likes to see his progress.  He pretty much drank it all in one sitting and said, "I'll tell you when it's all gone mama."

So see?  Winning.  I got him to drink another half a can today before bed.

Pediasure is also not hard on lactose intolerant tummies.  So his skin is not breaking out.

Now this does give him more fiber then he's used to (also a good thing but problematic at this point).  But I'm so thrilled with how he's trying different things and he's drinking the pediasure.  So thrilled.  I really can see a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's small.  It's tiny.  It may even be a mirage.  But ... it's there.

Because we also went out to eat at another restaurant and got him to eat an entire chicken strip.  Which there were two chicken strips in the basket, so that's pretty good I think.  I'm able to get him to try the things his brother is eating.  He gags.  Every time.  He tries to throw up.  But I figured out why he wasn't listening to me when I said, "DO NOT GAG."  It was because he didn't know what "gag" meant.

So I made the noise he made and told him that was gagging, and it was not nice to do that and he should not try to throw up for no reason.  And it seemed to resonate.  He at least swallowed one bite of humus on a cracker.  He claimed to hate it.

But he tried it.

I really could cry from all the success we've made.  I hate that we're on the medication and we will be for the duration.  Whether it's seasonal or the dairy or whatever but if we miss a dose he starts coughing.  Lew thinks it's probably just his runny nose.  But I hear it.  In my heart I know it's acid reflux because the strictures are keeping that opening open.

But he's such a happy kid.  And he will eat.  Peanut butter and crackers.  And fruit.  And nuts.  Chicken if pressed.

A friend posted a question on FB today ... "does anyone else ever feel like they are failing as a parent?  No, like really?"

And I wrote a joke first and then I decided I'd be honest.

I do feel like I have failed G.  I do.  He struggles and he's got this food issue and somewhere in my narcissistic heart I wonder what did I do wrong that made him like this?  My rational brain thinks nothing.  But what if it was something I ate while nursing?  A drug I took on accident?  If anyone knows me they know that last one is stupid.  I don't take anything while nursing.  Nothing.  I freaked when I had to take Tamiflu this past year.  I gave up dairy.  I often wonder if I hadn't done that ... maybe he would have gotten used to it?

And then there is this ... I should have nursed him longer.  When I weaned, I should have seen the reaction to dairy and just kept nursing.  But I wasn't thinking.  I wasn't as seasoned as I am now.  I didn't know everything I know about tummies and milk and food and EE and all of that.  I'm smarter now and I know better.  Ironically, I won't make the same mistake with Chalupa.  But he has no symptoms of being anything like his brother.

He stopped spitting up at 6mos and rarely, if ever, spits up any more.  He never throws up.  He gags on food but unlike his brother, he just gags until the food is moved out of place then chews it and swallows it.  I had no idea that kids did it that way.  G always always threw up.  Every day.  For just about two years.  Maybe 22 months.

But he's maturing and making baby steps.  He's meeting me at least half way.  I just need him to gain half a pound by early September and I think we can do that (maybe more!).

From _lightroom3

I have very good boys. I really do. I see a handful of kids fairly regularly, and I know my kids are awesome. I'm biased, of course. The other kids are great too, sure. But G is good socially, he's bright, he plays nice, he cares about others, he picks up after himself. Of course there was also the playdate that he hit his friend, went to time out, came out of time out promising to be nice, and then pushed him and had to go to time out again and then he hit the wall repeatedly and earned himself a trip home. So I do know all kids (and I do mean all) have good days and bad days.  I just know that my kids are mostly full of good days.