Look for the Light

From _lightroom3

I don't want to jinx it.  But I'm seeing maturity in Chalupa.  I'm seeing - occassionally - connected sleep cycles.  This is rare enough that it's not worth getting excited about, except ... that it shows me he can do it.  I just have to keep going - keep fighting the good fight - and he will continue to mature and he will get it.

Today was a good day.  If, two weeks ago I had known a day like today was this close, I might have been able to breath a little easier between temper tantrums and crying jags.  I took the kids to take some pictures, we came home, had lunch, the kids took naps - this is where it gets good - they both slept.  For two and a half hours.  Chalupa for a little longer.

This was great.  I should have slept.  I of course didn't.  Because by the time I realized this was going to be a semi good nap I was afraid as soon as I laid my head down the kids would wake up (invariably they would have) so I wasted time on facebook and edited pictures.

Some days are crap and I feel like I'm failing - or flailing, whichever you prefer.  Some days I'm bogged down in the tiny battles I lose every day, over food, over tv, over toys and tantrums.  Over going to the store (or not going to the store).  Today all of that was still true.

But my friend came over with a really great bottle of chardonnay at dinner time (the husbands had plans).  So we fed the kids and had a small glass.  That, combined with the nap, and the overall maturing I am seeing in both my kids (they really are great).  It was nice.  There is light.  I just have to keep looking for it.