Extended Nursing
Time Magazine has a cover out with an attractive thirty something woman nursing her three year old son. But it's not ... comforting. It's a wierd, in your face kind of pose. See! This is me nursing my three year old! So there!
The story isn't even about that woman, or nursing at all. It's about Dr. Sears. So don't get me started on Time Magazine objectifing nursing to sell more magazines. They know their cover is shocking. I also happen to know that Dr. Sears may be a proponent of extended nursing, but he's mostly a proponent of baby led everything. And co-sleeping. And this is a post for another day but I've yet to hear a long term success story from co-sleeping. But I digress...
I nursed for a year so I'm not opposed to nursing and I feel like I've earned the right to say what I'm about to say, or write, as it were. And it's a given all children are different. And for what it's worth, G probably would have benefited from a few more months of nursing, but honestly he was done with it. Which brings me to ...
I kinda think that extending nursing to three years is more about the mom than it is about the kid. And seriously my kids codependent enough I can only imagine what prolonged nursing would have done.
And I know the argument, breasts are for food blah blah blah and mother's milk is best blah blah blah. Honestly we're just replacing the bra burning my mother's generation did (and refusing to nurse - it's my body damn it!) with just as ridiculous vehemence the other way.
Formula is great. Especially for woman who have nursing issues. I know many who had them, painful ones, and they fought for months at it because they felt intense pressure to nurse their babies because someone had them convinced that giving them formula was tantamount to motor oil. People like Dr. Sears.
And let's be clear I'm more a fan of attachment parenting than I am Ferber or whatever the opposite of it is. Slings / baby wearing saved my life and it amazed me that it took me about 6 weeks to think of doing it when G was unhappy and I still had crap to get done. Baby #2 will live in the bjorn / ergo, I guarantee it. I nursed for a year which probably is on par with what Dr. Sears recommends and on nights when Lord help me I couldn't get him down G slept with us. But I never slept well. I heard him breathing all night long. I startled, he startled. I snored (or Dad), he woke up. I was constantly afraid he'd fall off the bed. I put pillows all along my side just in case he managed to roll off, because maybe it'd help if he fell.
It didn't work for me, except in those rare sleep deprived instances. In my head and heart I just knew it was best that he sleep on his own, but not until he was ready. So I am much more attachment and "kids are people not things to be trained" but even I have my limits.
Anyway ... my point is the cover. It's just for shock value and I'm sad the mother is letting herself and her son be used in that way. Then there's the future; what happens when her sons high school friends find that cover on the internet? You think he's going to tell his 16 year old peers that breasts are food?
I don't have a particular parenting philosophy except to trust your own instincts. It was the largest lesson I learned in the first year of G's life and it was hard because I felt really inadequate. I feel much more confident going into #2. So if that philosophy entitles me to write a book (it's less than a page long: "be consistent. Trust your instincts. And set up girls nights.") I think I should sign up.
The story isn't even about that woman, or nursing at all. It's about Dr. Sears. So don't get me started on Time Magazine objectifing nursing to sell more magazines. They know their cover is shocking. I also happen to know that Dr. Sears may be a proponent of extended nursing, but he's mostly a proponent of baby led everything. And co-sleeping. And this is a post for another day but I've yet to hear a long term success story from co-sleeping. But I digress...
I nursed for a year so I'm not opposed to nursing and I feel like I've earned the right to say what I'm about to say, or write, as it were. And it's a given all children are different. And for what it's worth, G probably would have benefited from a few more months of nursing, but honestly he was done with it. Which brings me to ...
I kinda think that extending nursing to three years is more about the mom than it is about the kid. And seriously my kids codependent enough I can only imagine what prolonged nursing would have done.
And I know the argument, breasts are for food blah blah blah and mother's milk is best blah blah blah. Honestly we're just replacing the bra burning my mother's generation did (and refusing to nurse - it's my body damn it!) with just as ridiculous vehemence the other way.
Formula is great. Especially for woman who have nursing issues. I know many who had them, painful ones, and they fought for months at it because they felt intense pressure to nurse their babies because someone had them convinced that giving them formula was tantamount to motor oil. People like Dr. Sears.
And let's be clear I'm more a fan of attachment parenting than I am Ferber or whatever the opposite of it is. Slings / baby wearing saved my life and it amazed me that it took me about 6 weeks to think of doing it when G was unhappy and I still had crap to get done. Baby #2 will live in the bjorn / ergo, I guarantee it. I nursed for a year which probably is on par with what Dr. Sears recommends and on nights when Lord help me I couldn't get him down G slept with us. But I never slept well. I heard him breathing all night long. I startled, he startled. I snored (or Dad), he woke up. I was constantly afraid he'd fall off the bed. I put pillows all along my side just in case he managed to roll off, because maybe it'd help if he fell.
It didn't work for me, except in those rare sleep deprived instances. In my head and heart I just knew it was best that he sleep on his own, but not until he was ready. So I am much more attachment and "kids are people not things to be trained" but even I have my limits.
Anyway ... my point is the cover. It's just for shock value and I'm sad the mother is letting herself and her son be used in that way. Then there's the future; what happens when her sons high school friends find that cover on the internet? You think he's going to tell his 16 year old peers that breasts are food?
I don't have a particular parenting philosophy except to trust your own instincts. It was the largest lesson I learned in the first year of G's life and it was hard because I felt really inadequate. I feel much more confident going into #2. So if that philosophy entitles me to write a book (it's less than a page long: "be consistent. Trust your instincts. And set up girls nights.") I think I should sign up.
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