A Good Day
So odd, but I didn't take a single picture today. That almost NEVER happens. So I have no visual to put with this. But I wanted to write something, because I'm feeling like it, and because it was a good day, and I think in a couple of days I'm going to need to be reminded that there are good days.
Today was a good day. No vomit (thus far - please knock on some cyber wood). He ate great. And I've got a theory as to what went terribly wrong lately.
Yogurt.
In an effort to fatten him up, we started buying a new brand of yogurt that had more grams of fat. And he loved it. Like a lot. So he would eat a lot of it. But he has a low tolerance for milk products, and from what I've recently read about acid reflux and heartburn and what causes what and what makes what worse, too much yogurt can exacerbate the acid problem.
Lewis and I, in one of the many conversations we've had over the last couple of days in how to tackle this problem, decided that we should replace the yogurt with high fiber foods first thing in the morning, and replace all his water with apple juice, for the time being, to get him regular.
So today, that's what I did. We had dried plums and cereal for breakfast and a cup and a half of apple juice. Anyway I'll spare you the rest of this ...
But the end result is ... a vomit free day.
My research into acid reflux diets has been enlightening. Why didn't I do this sooner you ask?
Because I'm an idiot and a bad mom. I'm really trying not to beat myself up too much about any of this. People always just told me he'd grow out of it. He'd grow out of it. No one said don't feed him this, or this or this ... in fact, the conventional wisdom for babies is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT KIDS LIKE GRADY NEED.
It makes me angry, really, if I think about it long enough, which I am trying not to. Folks said that the acid reflux was a baby thing, not a G thing (ain't nothin' but a G thang' ba-by - sorry had to). Now, for the first time, the gastro doc and my pedi are saying it's a G thing. And for some reason, that, and talking to my sister about how she can't process some fruits, led me to research an acid reflux diet.
And let me tell you - it's counter to what the docs are saying is the issue. They are saying Celiac (among other things - Celiac is actually the less scary). And I told the doc straight up that I thought that diagnosis was bogus and trendy. He sort of glared at me, but I said Listen if you tell me to go gluten free and it'll make him better that's what I'll do, I'm just telling you from where I sit, it's not Celiac, and I find it odd that all of a sudden so many people are allergic to wheat, a product that's been a staple of the human diet for centuries.
So anyway, if you look at G's symptoms, they line up perfectly with acid reflux which is exacerbated by a sensitive gag reflex. Nothing in his symptoms points to Celiac, but yet both the Pedi and the Gastro Pedi have brought up Celiac. I think they have to cover bases.
But in looking up dietary treatments for either situation ... wheat and wheat gluten are probably the only things that G eats that have kept him healthy. Everything else he throws up. So it just floors me that the medical community keeps bringing up taking these things out of his diet.
I will tell you, most people get medications for this far earlier. But I don't want them. I can't even really explain why I don't want them, it just doesn't seem like the right answer.
But the endoscopy doesn't sound fun either. I think most people go for the drugs rather than doing the endoscopy. But in my brain, I want to know what the problem is so I can find something other than drugs to treat with. Right? No? Am I wrong?
Lewis agrees with me, though I don't know why we both feel this way. Just giving him a pill everyday and not knowing if it's physical or allergen related would bother me.
I am convinced it's his bodies reaction to acid. But not enough that I'm going to cancel the procedure. It could be a very long word that I can't remember and a problem with his internal linings.
I'm rambling now.
The point is. Today was a good day. A great day. I'm so grateful for it. I know more than anyone how special G is. I know how lucky I am to get to be his mom, and to have him in my life, and to be able to spend every day with him. I love my days with him. I really do. He is, quite literally, the best thing. We drive down the road to playdates / grocery store / wherever and I can say to him "you okay back there?" and he says "yeah!" And he says "bus" whenever he sees one and he's awesome. I'm so content to have him with me we are going rounds about when to put him in a pre-school program.
Why give away this time? I ask, if I don't have to? He's only mine for a very short time. Soon he will grow up, and mature, and want his dad, or to spend time with his friends, and I will be the woman who makes his lunch and puts bandaids on skinned knees but that's it. Now, for a brief period of time, he wants to hang out with me. Why would I give that time away to a person that's paid minimum wage that doesn't care about him even one iota as much as I do? And not just because he's my son, but because he is just too cool of a kid.
Now before you start the whole "he needs to be socialized" load of garbage and codependency issues (mine) let me say this ... he will go to pre-school, it's just the matter of the timing.
Anyway. Today was a good day. I'm very glad. So very, very glad. Thank God for all the healthy babies.
Today was a good day. No vomit (thus far - please knock on some cyber wood). He ate great. And I've got a theory as to what went terribly wrong lately.
Yogurt.
In an effort to fatten him up, we started buying a new brand of yogurt that had more grams of fat. And he loved it. Like a lot. So he would eat a lot of it. But he has a low tolerance for milk products, and from what I've recently read about acid reflux and heartburn and what causes what and what makes what worse, too much yogurt can exacerbate the acid problem.
Lewis and I, in one of the many conversations we've had over the last couple of days in how to tackle this problem, decided that we should replace the yogurt with high fiber foods first thing in the morning, and replace all his water with apple juice, for the time being, to get him regular.
So today, that's what I did. We had dried plums and cereal for breakfast and a cup and a half of apple juice. Anyway I'll spare you the rest of this ...
But the end result is ... a vomit free day.
My research into acid reflux diets has been enlightening. Why didn't I do this sooner you ask?
Because I'm an idiot and a bad mom. I'm really trying not to beat myself up too much about any of this. People always just told me he'd grow out of it. He'd grow out of it. No one said don't feed him this, or this or this ... in fact, the conventional wisdom for babies is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT KIDS LIKE GRADY NEED.
It makes me angry, really, if I think about it long enough, which I am trying not to. Folks said that the acid reflux was a baby thing, not a G thing (ain't nothin' but a G thang' ba-by - sorry had to). Now, for the first time, the gastro doc and my pedi are saying it's a G thing. And for some reason, that, and talking to my sister about how she can't process some fruits, led me to research an acid reflux diet.
And let me tell you - it's counter to what the docs are saying is the issue. They are saying Celiac (among other things - Celiac is actually the less scary). And I told the doc straight up that I thought that diagnosis was bogus and trendy. He sort of glared at me, but I said Listen if you tell me to go gluten free and it'll make him better that's what I'll do, I'm just telling you from where I sit, it's not Celiac, and I find it odd that all of a sudden so many people are allergic to wheat, a product that's been a staple of the human diet for centuries.
So anyway, if you look at G's symptoms, they line up perfectly with acid reflux which is exacerbated by a sensitive gag reflex. Nothing in his symptoms points to Celiac, but yet both the Pedi and the Gastro Pedi have brought up Celiac. I think they have to cover bases.
But in looking up dietary treatments for either situation ... wheat and wheat gluten are probably the only things that G eats that have kept him healthy. Everything else he throws up. So it just floors me that the medical community keeps bringing up taking these things out of his diet.
I will tell you, most people get medications for this far earlier. But I don't want them. I can't even really explain why I don't want them, it just doesn't seem like the right answer.
But the endoscopy doesn't sound fun either. I think most people go for the drugs rather than doing the endoscopy. But in my brain, I want to know what the problem is so I can find something other than drugs to treat with. Right? No? Am I wrong?
Lewis agrees with me, though I don't know why we both feel this way. Just giving him a pill everyday and not knowing if it's physical or allergen related would bother me.
I am convinced it's his bodies reaction to acid. But not enough that I'm going to cancel the procedure. It could be a very long word that I can't remember and a problem with his internal linings.
I'm rambling now.
The point is. Today was a good day. A great day. I'm so grateful for it. I know more than anyone how special G is. I know how lucky I am to get to be his mom, and to have him in my life, and to be able to spend every day with him. I love my days with him. I really do. He is, quite literally, the best thing. We drive down the road to playdates / grocery store / wherever and I can say to him "you okay back there?" and he says "yeah!" And he says "bus" whenever he sees one and he's awesome. I'm so content to have him with me we are going rounds about when to put him in a pre-school program.
Why give away this time? I ask, if I don't have to? He's only mine for a very short time. Soon he will grow up, and mature, and want his dad, or to spend time with his friends, and I will be the woman who makes his lunch and puts bandaids on skinned knees but that's it. Now, for a brief period of time, he wants to hang out with me. Why would I give that time away to a person that's paid minimum wage that doesn't care about him even one iota as much as I do? And not just because he's my son, but because he is just too cool of a kid.
Now before you start the whole "he needs to be socialized" load of garbage and codependency issues (mine) let me say this ... he will go to pre-school, it's just the matter of the timing.
Anyway. Today was a good day. I'm very glad. So very, very glad. Thank God for all the healthy babies.
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