Well-Meaning
At the play park today there was a mean kid. An older (3) mean kid. He was there with what looked to be his grandfather, but one never knows so I should not assume. But this well-meaning (but absent) grandfather was letting the three-year-old run all over the small play park, which is designed for the under 36" set. Of which this three year old was on the cusp.
Today, at the play park, G was playing on the soft cow, trying to climb him. And the three year old came over too and climbed easily on top of him, and tried to push G off. I looked at that three year old with my meanest mama face and said "NO." He ignored me, proceeded to put his arms around G, and try to throw him off. I said no again, sort of astounded at the audacity, looking around for his parent. When G didn't move again, he hit him.
Adult supervision, for this soon to be bully, was no where to be seen. As is so often the case.
With nothing else to do but move on to another section of the play park, we moved on. Leaving the three year old to gloat in his victory.
I told the other mama's I was with to watch out for him, and they shrugged like I was over-reacting. And then it was little B who was getting pushed out of the way of a toy, and then they understood. We left shortly there after.
I feel for the adult in charge of that kid. But here's what I've noticed about the play park; parents want to sit down and drink their coffee, and let their kid run around on their own. With children so young (I saw a young mom of a 2 year old doing this - and her 2 year old hit another little boy. This was Monday) it's just not possible. I don't let G run around too much unattended, because his balance ain't so good on the climbing. And he seriously goes up and down the slide 50 times. And because he has no idea how to share, or what he's turn. He's slow and it's not fair to the big kids for him to be in the way all the time.
I digress.
Point is - I'm sorry parents of toddlers, you can't leave them unattended. They aren't bad kids, but they are selfish (they ALL are - G included) and want what they want and when they are denied something they act out (hitting, biting). It is not fair for my child to be supervised and made to let your child have a turn, if you are not going to force your child to do the same. I am not your childs parent. It's unfair of you to ask me to do this for you, while you sit and enjoy your latte.
This incident didn't lower G's enjoyment of the outing. But it did mine. When we were leaving, after all the playing and running, G threw up in his stroller. The moms I was with flipped out. "Oh my gosh is he okay? He's throwing up so much!"
I have to take a step back, remind myself, breathe, don't lash out. I know I come across as defensive whenever G throws up in public. But it's such a downer. Everyone thinks he has some sort of gastrointestinal flu or strange airborn disease that's going to immediately infect their child and "bless your heart has he seen a doctor?"
Nope. Never. Not once.
I have to excuse myself, No I don't need help. Thank you. He throws up all the time. It's no big deal. They don't believe me. No one does. Even my husband, who knows, doesn't really know. He wasn't there. When G does throw up with him he panics a bit too. Me? I try to catch as much of it on my hand, my shirt, my body as I can. As much as I can deflect from the floor the carseat the stroller, the better. It's easier to remove a shirt, rinse a hand, then it is to clean a carseat.
Every time he throws up it bothers me. A lot. I'm upset right now (obviously).
My son inherited his father's eyes, his grandfather's curls, his father's laid back attitude. From me he has inherited acid reflux, a tricky gag reflex, excema, a sensitive tummy and allergies.
No one told me that after I had kids I'd be hit with guilt from all angles. I feel so guilty that this is what he's gotten from me. Skin that won't stop itching and bulimia.
But I must reiterate - especially to my well-meaning friend who said "I've never seen a baby throw up before" - there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with my son. Throwing up as much as he does isn't normal, per say. But there is nothing diagnostically wrong with him. We've run tests. Please, understand that he is fine. It's just him. There are other kids out there that have similar issues and I've talked to them and all are happy and normal and growing.
But what a morning. I am tired of dealing with big kids at the play park and I usually leave by the time their absentee parents drop them off and go do shopping. Because I have no doubt that's what happens. It just sucks. I'm a good, attentive parent (if I do say so myself) probably too attentive some would say. And I expect other parents to watch their kids too.
And you know - to throw myself some praise - I take my kid outside. We point at trucks and watch bugs go by and we run around the house after the dog. I really do actively try to wear him out every day. But I play with him. With him. And this is what I think so many, well-meaning parents are missing these days. They expect their child to entertain himself, let them watch television in peace, make dinner in peace, fold laundry in peace. I make G part of whatever it is I'm doing (most times - I'm not perfect - Sesame Street has saved my life several times). If I'm in the kitchen I get him pots and pans. If I'm folding laundry I get him hangers and a clothes basket. Put the dirty clothes inside! I say, dropping socks and other small items around the basket. It's a game. He's engaged. And I'm being productive.
Yes, pat on the back to me. Even though I gave my kid a sick tummy and itchy skin, I'm still okay. And yes I hover and yes I do a lot wrong. Like let him play with car keys and toilet paper. And we used a walker for a while. And he gets into the cabinet with the cleaning supplies probably more than he should. So there are a lot of things I'm bad at.
But, inspite of all that, there are things I'm good at too. And hopefully - hopefully - it all comes out in the wash in the end. Because just like everyone else, I'm well-meaning too.
There mom. Was that enough to read? :)
Today, at the play park, G was playing on the soft cow, trying to climb him. And the three year old came over too and climbed easily on top of him, and tried to push G off. I looked at that three year old with my meanest mama face and said "NO." He ignored me, proceeded to put his arms around G, and try to throw him off. I said no again, sort of astounded at the audacity, looking around for his parent. When G didn't move again, he hit him.
Adult supervision, for this soon to be bully, was no where to be seen. As is so often the case.
With nothing else to do but move on to another section of the play park, we moved on. Leaving the three year old to gloat in his victory.
I told the other mama's I was with to watch out for him, and they shrugged like I was over-reacting. And then it was little B who was getting pushed out of the way of a toy, and then they understood. We left shortly there after.
I feel for the adult in charge of that kid. But here's what I've noticed about the play park; parents want to sit down and drink their coffee, and let their kid run around on their own. With children so young (I saw a young mom of a 2 year old doing this - and her 2 year old hit another little boy. This was Monday) it's just not possible. I don't let G run around too much unattended, because his balance ain't so good on the climbing. And he seriously goes up and down the slide 50 times. And because he has no idea how to share, or what he's turn. He's slow and it's not fair to the big kids for him to be in the way all the time.
I digress.
Point is - I'm sorry parents of toddlers, you can't leave them unattended. They aren't bad kids, but they are selfish (they ALL are - G included) and want what they want and when they are denied something they act out (hitting, biting). It is not fair for my child to be supervised and made to let your child have a turn, if you are not going to force your child to do the same. I am not your childs parent. It's unfair of you to ask me to do this for you, while you sit and enjoy your latte.
This incident didn't lower G's enjoyment of the outing. But it did mine. When we were leaving, after all the playing and running, G threw up in his stroller. The moms I was with flipped out. "Oh my gosh is he okay? He's throwing up so much!"
I have to take a step back, remind myself, breathe, don't lash out. I know I come across as defensive whenever G throws up in public. But it's such a downer. Everyone thinks he has some sort of gastrointestinal flu or strange airborn disease that's going to immediately infect their child and "bless your heart has he seen a doctor?"
Nope. Never. Not once.
I have to excuse myself, No I don't need help. Thank you. He throws up all the time. It's no big deal. They don't believe me. No one does. Even my husband, who knows, doesn't really know. He wasn't there. When G does throw up with him he panics a bit too. Me? I try to catch as much of it on my hand, my shirt, my body as I can. As much as I can deflect from the floor the carseat the stroller, the better. It's easier to remove a shirt, rinse a hand, then it is to clean a carseat.
Every time he throws up it bothers me. A lot. I'm upset right now (obviously).
My son inherited his father's eyes, his grandfather's curls, his father's laid back attitude. From me he has inherited acid reflux, a tricky gag reflex, excema, a sensitive tummy and allergies.
No one told me that after I had kids I'd be hit with guilt from all angles. I feel so guilty that this is what he's gotten from me. Skin that won't stop itching and bulimia.
But I must reiterate - especially to my well-meaning friend who said "I've never seen a baby throw up before" - there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with my son. Throwing up as much as he does isn't normal, per say. But there is nothing diagnostically wrong with him. We've run tests. Please, understand that he is fine. It's just him. There are other kids out there that have similar issues and I've talked to them and all are happy and normal and growing.
But what a morning. I am tired of dealing with big kids at the play park and I usually leave by the time their absentee parents drop them off and go do shopping. Because I have no doubt that's what happens. It just sucks. I'm a good, attentive parent (if I do say so myself) probably too attentive some would say. And I expect other parents to watch their kids too.
And you know - to throw myself some praise - I take my kid outside. We point at trucks and watch bugs go by and we run around the house after the dog. I really do actively try to wear him out every day. But I play with him. With him. And this is what I think so many, well-meaning parents are missing these days. They expect their child to entertain himself, let them watch television in peace, make dinner in peace, fold laundry in peace. I make G part of whatever it is I'm doing (most times - I'm not perfect - Sesame Street has saved my life several times). If I'm in the kitchen I get him pots and pans. If I'm folding laundry I get him hangers and a clothes basket. Put the dirty clothes inside! I say, dropping socks and other small items around the basket. It's a game. He's engaged. And I'm being productive.
Yes, pat on the back to me. Even though I gave my kid a sick tummy and itchy skin, I'm still okay. And yes I hover and yes I do a lot wrong. Like let him play with car keys and toilet paper. And we used a walker for a while. And he gets into the cabinet with the cleaning supplies probably more than he should. So there are a lot of things I'm bad at.
But, inspite of all that, there are things I'm good at too. And hopefully - hopefully - it all comes out in the wash in the end. Because just like everyone else, I'm well-meaning too.
There mom. Was that enough to read? :)
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