Slowly Losing My Mind
This morning has been rough, with a capitol R and an extra long "uff" at the end. Like a dogs bark. Which is pronounced "dawww" with the g sort of trailing off at the end.
The throwing of the food. The throwing. of the. food. Today I resorted to time outs. Not that he knew that was what we were doing. He only recognized that mama was not happy. Nope. Not one little bit. And was shocked enough to stay in the corner for 45 seconds the first time, then - after going back in his chair and still. throwing. food. - he stood there a full minute, staring at me. Crying. Not sure what was happening.
But that's what happens when you throw a spoonful of yogurt at mama. And then a cheerio.
He woke up in a bad mood. Just off. Not his smiley self. He knows what he wants but mama doesn't. He gets frustrated. I get it. Oh I get it. If he'd just sit there and scream at me I'd give him hugs and try and figure it out. But the throwing of the food. The throwing. of the. food.
Do you know what it feels like to be tasked with feeding a person, and they just throw it all at you? After trying ego's covered in butter and grape jelly (thrown), buttered toast with jelly (thrown), yogurt (eaten - but eventually thrown), cheerios (thrown). I mean three bites of yogurt is not a meal. Is it?
Last night as we were eating our chicken nuggets Lewis said "Maybe we should change it up for him." I almost cried. And then I went through everything I've tried. Quesadilla's, spaggetti, tortellini, ravioli, hot dogs, salad, rice, beans, plain chicken, spiced chicken, carrots, green beans, corn, spinach, avocado, ground beef ... in the past we've had limited success with some of this. He will eat some of a quesadilla, he will eat carrots sometimes. But lately ... animal crackers. The only thing he will eat with consistency is animal crackers. He's even turning his nose up at PB&J. I was doing summersaults on the inside that he was actually ingesting the chicken nuggets.
The doctor said that this will happen. That somewhere around this age they get in ruts, they refuse to eat on principle, refuse to do what you want. He gave me paperwork with advice ... and the top line of it is: "no parent ever won a food battle with a toddler."
Oh but do you know what it feels like to so desperately want a child to eat, to gain weight, to thrive and they just throw it at you? They can't tell you "No mother, I do not want a sandwhich today, please try watermelon."
Oh the throwing of the food. It hurts my heart. I could cry right now realizing I'm an hour and a half away from lunch and doing this all again.
But yesterday I did read something on line that I thought I could try ... "dipping is a universal toddler trait." Well he's never much liked dipping his food in ketchup or ranch or cheese (all things I've tried) but he does like apple sauce. Hmmm...
So after I packed us up and went to the grocery store (what I usually do when we just aren't clicking along) I came home, put him in his chair with a stack of animal crackers and a little bowl of apple sauce and showed him how to dip it. And he did it. And he ate about 12 of them. And even some cheerios.
So I did a little happy dance and considered that a battle won. Because I can't make him eat the good stuff, the fattening yogurt or the whole wheat bread or the pineapple (which I didn't try this AM). But he has to eat. I can count all his ribs, see his back bone. He has to eat. So if animal crackers are the tool of choice, animal crackers it is. And maybe I'll try letting him dip them in pureed veggies or avocado, and maybe they can become a vehicle for better foods.
Oh but the throwing of food. No longer cute. Now it's out of temper and frustration. No longer cute. God give me strength. He's a wonderful blessing and I love him dearly. If food is our biggest battle I know that I am blessed. And it's pretty hard to stay upset with a kiddo that loves giving hugs.
The throwing of the food. The throwing. of the. food. Today I resorted to time outs. Not that he knew that was what we were doing. He only recognized that mama was not happy. Nope. Not one little bit. And was shocked enough to stay in the corner for 45 seconds the first time, then - after going back in his chair and still. throwing. food. - he stood there a full minute, staring at me. Crying. Not sure what was happening.
But that's what happens when you throw a spoonful of yogurt at mama. And then a cheerio.
He woke up in a bad mood. Just off. Not his smiley self. He knows what he wants but mama doesn't. He gets frustrated. I get it. Oh I get it. If he'd just sit there and scream at me I'd give him hugs and try and figure it out. But the throwing of the food. The throwing. of the. food.
Do you know what it feels like to be tasked with feeding a person, and they just throw it all at you? After trying ego's covered in butter and grape jelly (thrown), buttered toast with jelly (thrown), yogurt (eaten - but eventually thrown), cheerios (thrown). I mean three bites of yogurt is not a meal. Is it?
Last night as we were eating our chicken nuggets Lewis said "Maybe we should change it up for him." I almost cried. And then I went through everything I've tried. Quesadilla's, spaggetti, tortellini, ravioli, hot dogs, salad, rice, beans, plain chicken, spiced chicken, carrots, green beans, corn, spinach, avocado, ground beef ... in the past we've had limited success with some of this. He will eat some of a quesadilla, he will eat carrots sometimes. But lately ... animal crackers. The only thing he will eat with consistency is animal crackers. He's even turning his nose up at PB&J. I was doing summersaults on the inside that he was actually ingesting the chicken nuggets.
The doctor said that this will happen. That somewhere around this age they get in ruts, they refuse to eat on principle, refuse to do what you want. He gave me paperwork with advice ... and the top line of it is: "no parent ever won a food battle with a toddler."
Oh but do you know what it feels like to so desperately want a child to eat, to gain weight, to thrive and they just throw it at you? They can't tell you "No mother, I do not want a sandwhich today, please try watermelon."
Oh the throwing of the food. It hurts my heart. I could cry right now realizing I'm an hour and a half away from lunch and doing this all again.
But yesterday I did read something on line that I thought I could try ... "dipping is a universal toddler trait." Well he's never much liked dipping his food in ketchup or ranch or cheese (all things I've tried) but he does like apple sauce. Hmmm...
So after I packed us up and went to the grocery store (what I usually do when we just aren't clicking along) I came home, put him in his chair with a stack of animal crackers and a little bowl of apple sauce and showed him how to dip it. And he did it. And he ate about 12 of them. And even some cheerios.
So I did a little happy dance and considered that a battle won. Because I can't make him eat the good stuff, the fattening yogurt or the whole wheat bread or the pineapple (which I didn't try this AM). But he has to eat. I can count all his ribs, see his back bone. He has to eat. So if animal crackers are the tool of choice, animal crackers it is. And maybe I'll try letting him dip them in pureed veggies or avocado, and maybe they can become a vehicle for better foods.
Oh but the throwing of food. No longer cute. Now it's out of temper and frustration. No longer cute. God give me strength. He's a wonderful blessing and I love him dearly. If food is our biggest battle I know that I am blessed. And it's pretty hard to stay upset with a kiddo that loves giving hugs.
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