What You Didn't Know Will Shock You
There are dozens, hundreds, possibly thousands of things that people do not tell you about having children. Or maybe they do tell you, but in your euphoric and happy state of pregnancy, you ignore them. The little darling is happily ensconced in your belly, safe and warm, kicking the appropriate 10+ times an hour ... he's your little angel, how hard can any of it really be? You will love him so much it will be a pleasure, not work at all.
Then the labor comes and your bouncing baby is delivered. Depending on your experience, all your work may begin immediately. But even then, the adrenaline from giving birth, the rush of newness, the awesome power of giving life ... all of that kind of masks the new reality.
And that new reality is a shocker.
I didn't know anything. And I took roughly 36 hours of baby related classes offered through our hospital. And I didn't know anything. Everyone talked about schedules and feedings and pacing the house at 3AM but it was like it didn't sink in or something. Because that first night at home, when he was throwing up everything he ate, I had absolutely no idea what to do. No one said that could happen. That you could feed a baby and they would throw it all up and be just as hungry (and cranky) as when you started but only now you have nothing left to feed them!
No one told me that a child could be so tired he'd refuse to sleep. That the alertness that we saw as him just "not being sleepy" was really massive fatigue.
No one told me that you'd wake up sometime after his 6 week check up and realize all of your friends have moved on from the newness of your baby but - guess what? He's still here. And it's just as hard as it was in the beginning if not harder only now you have no one bringing you dinner or asking how it's going.
No one told me that the hormones would kick my butt well into the 8 month, post partum. No one told me that when I stopped breast feeding all of my hair would fall out. No one told me that my body will go back to it's original weight but it will never, ever, ever look or feel the same way again.
No one told me that I'd be willing to barter an entire lifetime of kitchen duty for the opportunity to go grocery shopping alone just once.
And seriously no one told me just how hard it is to find childcare. Looking for daycare was agony, finding a babysitter is near impossible. Asking someone to come watch him is so hard. I know what I'm asking of that person. Constant vigiliance. The child has a near death wish. If he's not trying to drink bleach he's slamming his fingers in doors.
But no one can prepare you for the joy of a toddler walking up to you with a book and trying to climb into your lap. Or being the soul person in the world that can offer comfort after a particularly bad fall. Or the heart swell of love when your son says "dada" and toddles to the laundry room door because he heard the garage door open and he's sure his father is home to see him. Or just simple stupid things like when you go into his room in the morning and he was crying but he stops and gives you a big smile like "hey, I was hoping it was you!"
Raising children is this amazing contradiction of tedium and supreme joy. There is nothing in the world quite like it. And nothing anyone ever tells you can prepare you. It is an experience that is different for each individual and therefore has to be known first hand.
Then the labor comes and your bouncing baby is delivered. Depending on your experience, all your work may begin immediately. But even then, the adrenaline from giving birth, the rush of newness, the awesome power of giving life ... all of that kind of masks the new reality.
And that new reality is a shocker.
I didn't know anything. And I took roughly 36 hours of baby related classes offered through our hospital. And I didn't know anything. Everyone talked about schedules and feedings and pacing the house at 3AM but it was like it didn't sink in or something. Because that first night at home, when he was throwing up everything he ate, I had absolutely no idea what to do. No one said that could happen. That you could feed a baby and they would throw it all up and be just as hungry (and cranky) as when you started but only now you have nothing left to feed them!
No one told me that a child could be so tired he'd refuse to sleep. That the alertness that we saw as him just "not being sleepy" was really massive fatigue.
No one told me that you'd wake up sometime after his 6 week check up and realize all of your friends have moved on from the newness of your baby but - guess what? He's still here. And it's just as hard as it was in the beginning if not harder only now you have no one bringing you dinner or asking how it's going.
No one told me that the hormones would kick my butt well into the 8 month, post partum. No one told me that when I stopped breast feeding all of my hair would fall out. No one told me that my body will go back to it's original weight but it will never, ever, ever look or feel the same way again.
No one told me that I'd be willing to barter an entire lifetime of kitchen duty for the opportunity to go grocery shopping alone just once.
And seriously no one told me just how hard it is to find childcare. Looking for daycare was agony, finding a babysitter is near impossible. Asking someone to come watch him is so hard. I know what I'm asking of that person. Constant vigiliance. The child has a near death wish. If he's not trying to drink bleach he's slamming his fingers in doors.
But no one can prepare you for the joy of a toddler walking up to you with a book and trying to climb into your lap. Or being the soul person in the world that can offer comfort after a particularly bad fall. Or the heart swell of love when your son says "dada" and toddles to the laundry room door because he heard the garage door open and he's sure his father is home to see him. Or just simple stupid things like when you go into his room in the morning and he was crying but he stops and gives you a big smile like "hey, I was hoping it was you!"
Raising children is this amazing contradiction of tedium and supreme joy. There is nothing in the world quite like it. And nothing anyone ever tells you can prepare you. It is an experience that is different for each individual and therefore has to be known first hand.
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