Notes on a Baby
1. Babies go through stages. Babies go through stages. This too shall pass.
2. I got two breast feeding pillows. One from a consignment shop that I recovered, and then another one at the advice of a friend who said she loooved hers. I use neither. Though the first has other uses and I would suggest having one. The second, well I see it's value. You can carry the baby around with you and nurse. I did this maybe once. Grady is a distractable baby. He likes things to be very calm when eating, the picky dude. Have I said this already? Probably.
3. I was given a changing table (just a standard white one) and we put it in the closet and use it for shelving. So glad. I have no idea where I'd store all the medicines, lotions and other nick-nacky items if I didn't have it.
4. I need to take all the stuff out of his dresser and put shelf paper in there. I don't know why I am so opposed to shelf paper. Oh well.
5. I had all these great intentions about walks with the baby, trips to the park, the pool, etc. this summer. None of them happened. The best I've done is joining a work out group that meets in-doors at the mall. Maybe some of this will change with cooler weather.
6. I wish I could unread all the books I read before Grady came. I wish I had waited until I had met my child, knew his temperment, and then could take from the books what was relevant. But I'm doing things backwards it feels like, trying to fit him into one of their molds instead of the other way around. It has the great affect of making me feel incompetant. And I know, I know, I know I shouldn't do this. But it's hard not to be like, "but the book says if I do this, you will do this!" Afterwards I shake my head and think to myself for the one millionth time, books are crap, and experts are idiots.
7. I have a list a mile long for the doc tomorrow. I think I'm building up this appointment to much and he's going to shrug his shoulders and say, "He's a baby. Who knows. But he's growing! Good work." This will both make me happy and disappoint me.
8. Having a child away from family is really hard. Actually, having a child away from a support network is really hard. We're not integrated into a church, so I don't have that, and I don't want to put him into a nursery until he's had his next round of shots. That'll be tomorrow so maybe that will make me more comfortable (doubt it). It's hard. We plan all of our dates around when my brother or mom will be in town.
9. I had bad days before Grady. I don't know that I thought about what my bad days would look like after Grady. But Grady adds a whole new dimension of guilt. I feel bad for being sad or lonely because I have him and I should be joyous all the time. This isn't realistic, I know, but my feelings aren't always rational. With a new baby, and a new life shift, I sort of feel like I've moved. This is a huge transition, and in many ways it feels like starting all over again.
10. Grady laughs a lot. When he gets going, he really gets going. And he's super ticklish. It's all terribly cute. He's going to get shots tomorrow.
He's going to hate me.
2. I got two breast feeding pillows. One from a consignment shop that I recovered, and then another one at the advice of a friend who said she loooved hers. I use neither. Though the first has other uses and I would suggest having one. The second, well I see it's value. You can carry the baby around with you and nurse. I did this maybe once. Grady is a distractable baby. He likes things to be very calm when eating, the picky dude. Have I said this already? Probably.
3. I was given a changing table (just a standard white one) and we put it in the closet and use it for shelving. So glad. I have no idea where I'd store all the medicines, lotions and other nick-nacky items if I didn't have it.
4. I need to take all the stuff out of his dresser and put shelf paper in there. I don't know why I am so opposed to shelf paper. Oh well.
5. I had all these great intentions about walks with the baby, trips to the park, the pool, etc. this summer. None of them happened. The best I've done is joining a work out group that meets in-doors at the mall. Maybe some of this will change with cooler weather.
6. I wish I could unread all the books I read before Grady came. I wish I had waited until I had met my child, knew his temperment, and then could take from the books what was relevant. But I'm doing things backwards it feels like, trying to fit him into one of their molds instead of the other way around. It has the great affect of making me feel incompetant. And I know, I know, I know I shouldn't do this. But it's hard not to be like, "but the book says if I do this, you will do this!" Afterwards I shake my head and think to myself for the one millionth time, books are crap, and experts are idiots.
7. I have a list a mile long for the doc tomorrow. I think I'm building up this appointment to much and he's going to shrug his shoulders and say, "He's a baby. Who knows. But he's growing! Good work." This will both make me happy and disappoint me.
8. Having a child away from family is really hard. Actually, having a child away from a support network is really hard. We're not integrated into a church, so I don't have that, and I don't want to put him into a nursery until he's had his next round of shots. That'll be tomorrow so maybe that will make me more comfortable (doubt it). It's hard. We plan all of our dates around when my brother or mom will be in town.
9. I had bad days before Grady. I don't know that I thought about what my bad days would look like after Grady. But Grady adds a whole new dimension of guilt. I feel bad for being sad or lonely because I have him and I should be joyous all the time. This isn't realistic, I know, but my feelings aren't always rational. With a new baby, and a new life shift, I sort of feel like I've moved. This is a huge transition, and in many ways it feels like starting all over again.
10. Grady laughs a lot. When he gets going, he really gets going. And he's super ticklish. It's all terribly cute. He's going to get shots tomorrow.
He's going to hate me.
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