Even More on Sleep (and some on eating)
So ever since I wrote THIS post, we have not slept "through" (6-7 hours) the night. It's been ... interesting. We had our 4 month appointment last Tuesday, to which I talked to the doctor about this new phenomenon and he had a bunch of stuff to say and some of it I remember, some of it I don't (I should tape record the appointments). But the first part was that babies periodically "regress" with sleep and need to be "retrained."
Hmm ... this is okay. Sounds good. Except that I didn't "train" him to do anything. He did all that sleeping on his own. So how do I train him to do something that I never trained him to do in the first place?
He recommended a book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Parts of this book are useful. Parts of it are just insane - "put the baby down for bed at 7pm and close the door. Do not reenter until 7am." That's not a direct quote, dispite the quotation marks. But the feeling is the same.
We had one attempt at crying it out. I think it was last Tuesday? Maybe Wednesday? He cried for 40 minutes then Lewis went in there, then I went in there, and I finally got him to sleep. He slept for a long clip after that (I imagine he was exhausted from his screaming) but in most respects I consider that experience a failure. We will not be trying that again. At least not at this age. Maybe as he matures.
The doctor said he needs to learn to "self-soothe." Hmmm. He knows how to do this. It's a question of will he. Many times he wakes up, moans a bit, and then goes back to sleep. Many times I can lay him down with sleepy eyes and he'll fall asleep.
But sometimes... sometimes I lay him down and he jumps wide awake and starts screaming. Sometimes I lay him down and he jumps away and starts smiling and wants to play.
I'm not sure what our issue is. He may be hungry. I think he is when he wakes up after the first feeding. But when he wakes up after that ...
Like last night, he woke up at 3:00 - I fed him, he went back to bed. He woke up again at 4:30. But he didn't cry, he was just moaning. And I could tell he had all of his fingers in his mouth. He's teething (nothing poking through yet) and I think that sometimes it bothers him a lot.
We have had some major bad nights (waking up every two hours) but luckily those are rare. usually he wakes up ever 3.5 - 4 hours. Occasionally he'll sleep for five. He's all over the place. So my plan of action now - is to stick to a pretty rigid feeding schedule during the day, move our bedtime a tad earlier (start at 7:00) and do that for a few weeks and see what shakes out. But there's a lot changing for him. We've started solids, which he's doing REALLY well with, if I do say so myself. He liked rice cereal (which we only gave him twice) and today we did puree'd avocado. Which was a hit.
I'm attempting to make my own. (We have enough avocado left over until he's 2 I think!) But I bought a bunch of gerber brand to see if there's anything he likes before I dive too far in to the food making arena.
Anyway. We have a bunch of friends who's babies are older or younger than Grady and are sleeping through the night. Some for 10+ hours. It's wonderful for them. But that's not my son. Grady still wants to get up. I won't feed him every time (if he wakes up under three hours no food for him) but if he acts hungry, I'm going to feed him. It's more important to me that he grows big and strong than it is for him to sleep long stretches, at least right now.
And this is all stuff I tell myself so I feel better. Part of me frets that something I'm doing is holding him back. That my parenting style is making him wake up or I'm not encouraging him to sleep? But I really don't think (hope hope hope) that there is anything wrong with him. And there's nothing wrong with my friends baby's either. They are just them and Grady is just Grady.
And right now, he's not sleeping through the night. But I bet someday, maybe in another six weeks, that, and about ten other things, will change.
Hmm ... this is okay. Sounds good. Except that I didn't "train" him to do anything. He did all that sleeping on his own. So how do I train him to do something that I never trained him to do in the first place?
He recommended a book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Parts of this book are useful. Parts of it are just insane - "put the baby down for bed at 7pm and close the door. Do not reenter until 7am." That's not a direct quote, dispite the quotation marks. But the feeling is the same.
We had one attempt at crying it out. I think it was last Tuesday? Maybe Wednesday? He cried for 40 minutes then Lewis went in there, then I went in there, and I finally got him to sleep. He slept for a long clip after that (I imagine he was exhausted from his screaming) but in most respects I consider that experience a failure. We will not be trying that again. At least not at this age. Maybe as he matures.
The doctor said he needs to learn to "self-soothe." Hmmm. He knows how to do this. It's a question of will he. Many times he wakes up, moans a bit, and then goes back to sleep. Many times I can lay him down with sleepy eyes and he'll fall asleep.
But sometimes... sometimes I lay him down and he jumps wide awake and starts screaming. Sometimes I lay him down and he jumps away and starts smiling and wants to play.
I'm not sure what our issue is. He may be hungry. I think he is when he wakes up after the first feeding. But when he wakes up after that ...
Like last night, he woke up at 3:00 - I fed him, he went back to bed. He woke up again at 4:30. But he didn't cry, he was just moaning. And I could tell he had all of his fingers in his mouth. He's teething (nothing poking through yet) and I think that sometimes it bothers him a lot.
We have had some major bad nights (waking up every two hours) but luckily those are rare. usually he wakes up ever 3.5 - 4 hours. Occasionally he'll sleep for five. He's all over the place. So my plan of action now - is to stick to a pretty rigid feeding schedule during the day, move our bedtime a tad earlier (start at 7:00) and do that for a few weeks and see what shakes out. But there's a lot changing for him. We've started solids, which he's doing REALLY well with, if I do say so myself. He liked rice cereal (which we only gave him twice) and today we did puree'd avocado. Which was a hit.
I'm attempting to make my own. (We have enough avocado left over until he's 2 I think!) But I bought a bunch of gerber brand to see if there's anything he likes before I dive too far in to the food making arena.
Anyway. We have a bunch of friends who's babies are older or younger than Grady and are sleeping through the night. Some for 10+ hours. It's wonderful for them. But that's not my son. Grady still wants to get up. I won't feed him every time (if he wakes up under three hours no food for him) but if he acts hungry, I'm going to feed him. It's more important to me that he grows big and strong than it is for him to sleep long stretches, at least right now.
And this is all stuff I tell myself so I feel better. Part of me frets that something I'm doing is holding him back. That my parenting style is making him wake up or I'm not encouraging him to sleep? But I really don't think (hope hope hope) that there is anything wrong with him. And there's nothing wrong with my friends baby's either. They are just them and Grady is just Grady.
And right now, he's not sleeping through the night. But I bet someday, maybe in another six weeks, that, and about ten other things, will change.
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