Confidence

A good friend of ours asked me at dinner the other night, what was the most surprising thing about parenting.  What had I not anticipated?

The debilitating lack of confidence.

I question everything.  Don't give him a pacifier, he'll get nipple confusion.  Don't put him in his swing, he'll get dependent on movement for comfort.  Don't let him cry, he won't trust us.  But don't pick him up too soon, he'll be spoiled.  Don't let him nap too long during the day, he won't sleep at night.

I also had a lot of conflicting advice.  The nurses at the hospital advised that we wake him every three hours to eat.  The first week or so, we set an alarm so I would wake up and feed him.  This confused my mother, who was staying with us, who though, "why on earth would you wake a sleeping baby?"

But then, another nurse told me that "scheduling" babies does not work.  Isn't waking a baby to eat, scheduling?

As of this past week or so, I've made a decision.  I'm throwing out all the stupid books.  Not literally.  Just figuratively.  Mentally.  I'll still consult for questions, and maybe an alternative opinion.  But honestly, Grady and I are doing great.

This stems from my reading a Kindle sample of "The Baby Whisperer."  Which honestly might not be a bad book.  She encourages to treat our infants as individual people, which is a concept I was just advocating to Lewis today.  He is our baby, but he is also his own person.

However, I think I'll skip the sleep advice.  For now.  That may change.  *UPDATED*  The reason I think I can skip it ... well we aren't having sleep problems.  Grady's sleep pattern is one I'm comfortable with, and it's not a battle to get him to bed.  Now the first little bit was okay.  But now he gets sleepy at the right time and he sleeps.  It's kind of amazing actually.  He may be spoiling me.

But friends of ours have a 14 week old and she would never take a pacifier.  Which I thought was fine, but her Dad said that she now has found her thumb, and they are very concerned that a habit is forming.

Oh is it really the worst thing if a 2 year old sucks her thumb?  Or even a 6 year old?  I know it's something most people want to avoid, but really, in the grand scheme, is it the worst thing?  Let the baby have her thumb.  Worry about when she's 5 and hurting her teeth then.  Most kids give the thumb up.  I'm sure she will.  Eventually.

The front of our house is hot.  Too hot.  But I can't keep the thermestat at a level that would cool it off.  My money tree just isn't bearing fruit yet.  So I've put a fan in Grady's room.  I am probably dooming him to need the white noise to fall asleep for all time.

Then I remember - they sell white noise machines for adults.  So if he has this problem as a grown up, I'll buy him one.  And is it the worst thing if he has a fan in his room for a while?  Really?

So I have decided that the books are a starting point, not the end all be all of advice.  And I think, two months in, I'm getting a bit more confident.  Not a lot more.  Lord help me if and when he gets sick.  And when teething starts.  And when we start introducing solids.

So really, just when I'm starting to get the hang of things, everything's going to change.  But I'll just need to remember Maria.

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don't I just know I'll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them 
I'll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence they'll put me to the test
But I'll make them see I have confidence in me


The Sound of Music - I have Confidence in Me