Baby Love
What consistently amazes me, is how much Grady so obviously loves me. He smiles every morning when I go in to pick him up, even if he's been crying previously. He smiles at me when I feed him. Tonight we were standing on our legs and I started laughing at him, and the sound tickled him I guess because he giggled. And then that made him laugh more! And that made me laugh! And that made him laugh!
I think that may have been his first social laugh. It was so fun. But really, every time I smile at him, he smiles back. And sometimes he smiles, I think just to have me smile at him.
I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder, what does he see? I see an exhausted woman with no makeup on, who's hair is consistently in a pony tail, and who wears the same 5 shirts over and over again, all of which smell like baby spit up. Who still has a little extra weight around the middle, and stretch marks that appeared the last 5 days of pregnancy. How can he look at that person, and smile like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him?
It's humbling. And it makes my heart feel full to burst. I expected to love him bunches, but I didn't really expect to see such obvious devotion from him. I really am his favorite person.
I have to hold on to this feeling, or memory. Because when he's 7 and I'm dropping him off at baseball practice and I try to give him a kiss, he's going to say, "aww Mom! Stop!"
But I'll love that too.
I think that may have been his first social laugh. It was so fun. But really, every time I smile at him, he smiles back. And sometimes he smiles, I think just to have me smile at him.
I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder, what does he see? I see an exhausted woman with no makeup on, who's hair is consistently in a pony tail, and who wears the same 5 shirts over and over again, all of which smell like baby spit up. Who still has a little extra weight around the middle, and stretch marks that appeared the last 5 days of pregnancy. How can he look at that person, and smile like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him?
It's humbling. And it makes my heart feel full to burst. I expected to love him bunches, but I didn't really expect to see such obvious devotion from him. I really am his favorite person.
I have to hold on to this feeling, or memory. Because when he's 7 and I'm dropping him off at baseball practice and I try to give him a kiss, he's going to say, "aww Mom! Stop!"
But I'll love that too.
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