Marriage Talk
In a few rare instances (that my feable brain can come up with) do I think one should plan to leave a husband. And while I know the internet is a useful plethora of "how to's", I wonder how many people wake up in the morning wanting to google "how do I leave my husband?"
Should such a search be required, MSN has you covered.
It's actually kind of a funny article. The last piece of advice is "Don't give up."
Don't give up on your divorce. You know ... like you didn't give up on your marriage.
There are a lot of articles about singledom out today. Maybe something in the water. I've also been talking a lot about my marriage lately, as I've gotten some wierd comments in the recent past ...
"How do you not fight?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Whew ... that's just so funny. I'm still laughing. How do I not fight ... phhhhhs. Please!
My first thought the first time I heard that comment was - I've gotten so much better at this! Not at relationships, at keeping people OUT of my relationships. When your young, you tell people everything. Okay, when I was young I told people everything. Every fight, every date, every conversation. And worse yet! I wrote it all down!
Stupid! These are what I now refer to as, rookie mistakes. When you're having a disagreement - don't immortalize it by writing it down! Good grief. The last thing you want to do is go back in two months or a year and read about how you fought at the Hibachi place because the waiter asked if you were married and your then boyfriend of - oh maybe 6 months? - said very adamantly "No." [Obviously - a true story]. Forget that you were 19 at the time, and had no more thought of marriage than you had getting a labotomy, but still, you were righteously indignant! How dare he say no!
What, should he have said yes? Of course not! It was the way he said no. As I sit here and roll my eyes at my young self, I'm astonished that that same girl is the one I am today.
Because the old me, as I mentioned, told people everything. So when things were better, my friends were still reeling over the last fight. Still judging both of us based on the last fight. Even if they were in relationships too, and knew about the ups and downs of young love, the bad stuff still stays with them. And it makes it hard for them to be happy for you when things go back to being good.
So ... what did I learn circa 2003? Shut up. Don't come to work and spout off about this and that. Don't ask for their opinion. Because most of the time, you're fighting about stupid meaningless dribble. And it wont matter in an hour (when he's finished with class and inevitably calls you back - because duh, he likes you) anyway, much less in a week or a month when you're friend is still reminding you "but remember when he didn't return your phone call in the 15 minutes after you called him?"
So when all those people (it was 2 people) asked me, how do you not fight, after I finished laughing, I shook my head and patted myself on the back. Because Mom, apparently I learned something after all.
Should such a search be required, MSN has you covered.
It's actually kind of a funny article. The last piece of advice is "Don't give up."
Don't give up on your divorce. You know ... like you didn't give up on your marriage.
There are a lot of articles about singledom out today. Maybe something in the water. I've also been talking a lot about my marriage lately, as I've gotten some wierd comments in the recent past ...
"How do you not fight?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Whew ... that's just so funny. I'm still laughing. How do I not fight ... phhhhhs. Please!
My first thought the first time I heard that comment was - I've gotten so much better at this! Not at relationships, at keeping people OUT of my relationships. When your young, you tell people everything. Okay, when I was young I told people everything. Every fight, every date, every conversation. And worse yet! I wrote it all down!
Stupid! These are what I now refer to as, rookie mistakes. When you're having a disagreement - don't immortalize it by writing it down! Good grief. The last thing you want to do is go back in two months or a year and read about how you fought at the Hibachi place because the waiter asked if you were married and your then boyfriend of - oh maybe 6 months? - said very adamantly "No." [Obviously - a true story]. Forget that you were 19 at the time, and had no more thought of marriage than you had getting a labotomy, but still, you were righteously indignant! How dare he say no!
What, should he have said yes? Of course not! It was the way he said no. As I sit here and roll my eyes at my young self, I'm astonished that that same girl is the one I am today.
Because the old me, as I mentioned, told people everything. So when things were better, my friends were still reeling over the last fight. Still judging both of us based on the last fight. Even if they were in relationships too, and knew about the ups and downs of young love, the bad stuff still stays with them. And it makes it hard for them to be happy for you when things go back to being good.
So ... what did I learn circa 2003? Shut up. Don't come to work and spout off about this and that. Don't ask for their opinion. Because most of the time, you're fighting about stupid meaningless dribble. And it wont matter in an hour (when he's finished with class and inevitably calls you back - because duh, he likes you) anyway, much less in a week or a month when you're friend is still reminding you "but remember when he didn't return your phone call in the 15 minutes after you called him?"
So when all those people (it was 2 people) asked me, how do you not fight, after I finished laughing, I shook my head and patted myself on the back. Because Mom, apparently I learned something after all.
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