Office Clothing

So I'm reading this article on MSN about how women are dressing too sexy for the workplace. I thought it might be interesting to see what the standards are out there and what the so-called 'experts' were saying. Here is their list of guidelines on how a woman should dress in the workplace. Keep in mind that throughout the article it was tempered with moderate criticism for scantily clad ladies, but it did not go over the top. It seemed fairly moderate. Here are their guidelines:

Skirts: Too little is too much. Skirt lengths should be no more than one hand-width above the knee.

Okay, no problem here. Had the same rules in grade school.

Tops: Make sure there is at least one-inch of room between body and fabric and that it is long enough to conceal your midriff. Stomach, breasts, back and shoulders should be covered. Fabric should not be overly sheer and a bra should be worn (with no straps revealed).

No problem here really. I assume by back they mean lower back? Because occasionally I have rounded neck lines that show the top / back of my neck.

Dresses: No halter tops or cleavage-baring necklines. Avoid overly snug fits. Again, hemlines should hit no more than one hand-width above the knee.

No problem here. Duh.

Pants: Shun overly tight or hip-hugger pants that expose the midriff. Stick with neutral colors.

This is where we start going a little nutty. 'Neutral colors?' What if I wore red pants that were properly fitted with a nice red shirt?

Shoes: Heels should be no higher than two inches; toe should be closed. Avoid strappy styles, bright colors and patterns.

Now this is stupid. I can wear pretty shoes if I want to. Even if they have patterns.

Hair: Keep your hair sleek and off your face. Avoid the teased, over-processed look.

Lady, you keep my hair off my face. It doesn't seem to listen to me. And I think we all avoid the "over-processed" look, or was that just a rip at women with dyed hair?

Makeup: Keep it clean and natural. Avoid heavy eyeliner or evening lipsticks.

What's an evening lipstick? Does that mean darker colors?

And where are the rules for men and not wearing stupid ties with dead animals on them? What is with the sheep hanging from a noose? (It's a Brooks Brothers thing). I will be the first to admit there are rules for the workplace that apply differently to both sexes. For one, I don't like to be complimented on my outfits by men at work. It makes me uncomfortable. Men, you shouldn't be looking at my clothes. Ladies, I don't mind so much, they are none threatening. I once told my boss this, he didn't agree. But the ladies sitting at the table with me did. Its just one of the rules.

But I think I could wear nice shoes with a nice pattern. No matter what the 'experts' say.